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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25759048">Doctor One</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkipBack/pseuds/SkipBack'>SkipBack</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Doctor One [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Invader Zim</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cute gay shit™, M/M, also he needs therapy let's be honest, also hi shands i guess, his fault for bottling his emotions up i guess, i still blame shandzii for me finding out about zib btw, i'm you're looking for angst you've come to the right address, not that you're really asking, oh that's a fun tag, only piki has the braincell, rex sounds like wheatley, tags may be subject to change and updated, things keep going wrong and he has no idea why, zib curses a lot™, zib deals with two irkens, zib is a big mood, zib really needs to take an anger management class</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:56:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>38,282</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25759048</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkipBack/pseuds/SkipBack</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Zib's plan was simple from the beginning: take down the Irken Armada. However, a pair of Irken Invaders who aren't as they seem blunder their way into his life, causing everything he's ever known to go spiralling out of control, but only one thing is certain amidst the chaos of it all: the time for change is coming, whether Zib likes it... or not.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>OC X OC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Doctor One [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2231640</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. First Meetings Gone Wrong</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First things first, Doctor One has recently undergone through some changes as of October 13/2020. What remains the same is that this is one of the most interesting Invader Zim stories I've ever the pleasure of writing for Archive Of Our Own; it deals with an interesting range of headcanons, concepts, and ideas I've had ever since I came up with this AU, as well as featuring a host of original characters (half of which were created on the spot).</p><p>The AU surrounds Zib, who has been squatting in an unknown universe for twenty-five years now. Basically: Zib has problems. <em>A lot</em> of problems. All of which he hasn't been dealing with properly. Because of that, the angst surrounding him is darker and could potentially be sensitive to some readers, so uh... yeah.</p><p>ALSO! Be sure to look for "potential trigger warning" warnings (or just potential warning, which you have my full permission treat as a trigger warning if it's easier)! They're... yeah, they're not straight forward warnings like "tw: butts" or something. Look man, I am Zeisty King. That means they're going to be more like "tw: there's butts here for some reason and i have no idea why."</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The start of something stupid (in Zib's opinion, of course).</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He had always had one plan in mind. 

</p><p>This plan was simple, but admittedly pretty shitty. Yet he didn't care. This single-minded plan had kept a purpose in his step, and this purpose had been something he was sure he would accomplish: eliminate the Irken Armada, which ever one it was. Free this universe of the Irken Empire's influence. Keep this universe's Earth safe.

</p><p>This plan had driven him for years. He hadn't found the need to change any aspect of it, the Zim parts of him believing it was flawless and therefore didn't need to change. It was taking him longer than he expected to complete, but he was too far through his plan to stop now. It was just taking a while, was all. He was sure this "phase one" of his plan was almost finally over, and he would finally move onto the part where he would eliminate the entire fleet.

</p><p>He knew his plan by heart. All he had to do was look for parts and such he needed. Everything had been perfect, going accordingly. He'd been certain that it would continue to go smoothly, without a hitch in the road. There was no way nothing could go wrong, after all.

</p><p>That was until his heightened hearing picked up the sound of a hushed voice, somewhere hidden within the ship.

</p><p>The calm Zib had managed to lull himself into vanished all at once. <em>Oh God, not again,</em> he thought, panic flaring through his chest as he searched the room for anything he could potentially use as a weapon. <em>Please God, not this again!</em>

</p><p>Sure his PAK had an arsenal of built-in weapons, but based on what happened last time something like this had happened... well, he was in better shape than he had been then (at least, that's what he told himself). Either way, they hadn't helped him much back then, so he decided it would be best to learn from past mistakes and use a reliable weapon. Y'know, one that didn't fail him the second he chose to use it.

</p><p>The only weapon he had in the tiny library was a thick black metal stick that was as long as his arm. While it sounded... questionable when the thought ran through his head, it would have to do on such short notice.

</p><p>The voice sounded like it was coming from the main part of his ship. Whoever it belonged to, they put Zib's entire plan in jeopardy. Or at least, he thought so. The last time his ship had been broken into... well, bad things had happened. He'd been lucky last time; this time, he was certain luck wouldn't save him if he screwed up. So if he failed to stop this intruder, and he did lose everything this time... that was it. No second chance, no hope of ever retrieving the collection of parts he had salvaged over the years. Most of which were one-of-a-kind; some had just about been tossed into the nearest sun, while others had costed him a significant amount of monies. Losing them would mean the end of his plan, as well as <em>his</em> end.

</p><p>He'd never been one to take losing lightly. And not in the win-or-lose, losers-and-winners, sort of way. The losing-something-or-someone-I-don't-want-to-lose way. It had developed right after... after the events of... <em>of...</em> after the events of an incident that still hurt him to think about. <em>The</em> Incident, where he'd lost all of his work and inventions. Hours and days and <em>months</em> of hard work disappearing in a second, almost as though they'd never been there in the first place. Not a trace remained. Gone, vanished, erased... nothing left.

</p><p>And the worst of it all — there had been no hope of rebuilding and restarting his work. All of the tech that remained had been rendered practically useless. Some days, he'd been amazed his computer even worked at all, with its horrendous slow voice full of corruption (if he had to be honest, it was more like voices). And yes, even though his computer had made a terrible conversationalist and frustrated him to know end as it deleted files left and right, convinced he had told it to when he hadn't, he'd still thrown his deranged loneliness all over it and had clung to it like a tumor. He had to admit, it had been rather... unhealthy to form an attachment to an unfeeling, cold machine that spoke with a multiverse's worth of voices. But then again, it had been the only thing to talk to, despite all of its flaws. He'd just needed something to anchor his confusing tangle of emotions to.

</p><p>He'd made a plan to find a way upload it into a tiny little device he could carry around, so the both of them could leave the remains of what had been a universe. His wreck of a timeline. Together. Unfortunately, there had been no telling what would happen when he had finally got around to uploading his computer's conscious or whatever into the small phone-sized device; as he found out too late, his computer had turned into a big old virus, and it had fried the device's circuits.

</p><p>He'd lost them both — the small device had stopped functioning, and despite how desperately he'd tried, there was no way to get the computer's personality back. That had broken him. Horribly. He still kept the device; he'd locked it up somewhere, keeping it out of sight as a way to protect it. A part of him kept promising he'd be able to fix it and get his computer's personality back one day. Another part of him highly doubted it.

</p><p>Zib pulled himself out of his thoughts, cautiously stepping into the main part of the ship (he admittedly still wasn't an expert, and his PAK had neglected to tell him what it was actually called) and was met with the sight of... absolutely no one at all. He lowered his weapon in confusion. He couldn't hear anything but the gentle hum of the engine, almost as though the voice had been nothing but a figment of his twisted imagination. But he could pick up a scent he didn't remember <em>The Void Cruiser</em> ever having; it was coppery and faint, though he didn't know where it was coming from.

</p><p>Blood.

</p><p>Zib slowly made his way through the space. There was definitely someone here. He could only guess they were covered in blood and weren't afraid to kill, or they were bleeding and looking for a place to hide. Or all of the above. Terrifying to consider, but he didn't know their situation after all.

</p><p>Before he could process what was happening, something zipped out from the cockpit and struck him in the stomach with a broom. Purely out of instinct, Zib dropped the weapon, barely managing to catch the handle of the broom as his attacker tried to strike him once more, this time over the head. He tried to yank it out of their hands, but instead lifted them off their feet. There, hanging off the end of the broom and flailing about like a few screws had been knocked lose, was a tiny Irken.

</p><p>Zib felt himself pause as the word ran itself through his head. An Irken. A tiny little thing, barely up to his knees. Dressed in the same magenta tunic he had hoped to never see again, the bug was almost like every other Irken he'd seen before, except with extraordinarily pale green fur. Despite his admittedly alarming complexion, the Irken clearly was anything but ill. There was a fire burning in his eyes — rage and determination, blending together in two large orbs of violet.

</p><p>"OI!" the Irken shouted, an English accent lacing his voice. He kicked the air, seemingly not realizing he could just let go of the broom and drop to the floor. "MATE! LET GO!"

</p><p>Zib's grip tightened on the broom out of spite. There was an Irken. Here. ON. HIS. SHIP. A growl started up in the back of his throat, rumbling and low. The handle of the broom started to crack, the force of his grip steadily breaking it in half.

</p><p>The Irken hanging off the end of the broom halted, not a single sign of his previous anger present. The outraged look on his face had been replaced with a wide-eyed look of stupid shock, the kind that made you want to punch whoever was making that expression in the face. The Irken released his end of the broom just seconds before it broke in half, holding his two-fingered hands up in surrender. The two steadily began to walk clockwise, which was impressive for the tiny bug, not that Zib would ever vocalize that.

</p><p>"Look, mate," he said. "I know we've g-got on the wrong foot here, but there is a matter of, uh, urge—"

</p><p>Four spindly legs snaked out of Zib's PAK, the very tips aimed straight for the small nuisance as the two halves of the broom fell to the floor. "Nope, he's mad," the Irken said, almost to himself. "That's bad, right? Very, um, bad... look! I can see that you're mad, and I get that! I do, I really... I'd be mad too, if someone broke into my... uh... say, how about this... what if we... start over? How does that—?"

</p><p>At the words <em>start over,</em> Zib's growling began to drown out the hum of the engine. The tips of his biomechanical legs began to glow with the threat of laser fire. The Irken yelped, jumping back a few feet. "<em>Okayokayokay!</em>" the bug said hurriedly. "Nevermind, nevermind! I take it back! Never said anything!"

</p><p>A hoarse gurgling noise cut off the pale-furred Irken's stuttered rambles, Zib's growling dropping considerably in volume, both beings stopping in their tracks. The Irken glanced over to the side, where the cockpit now was and cleared his throat. "Seriously, as I was trying to say before, there is a matter of urgency, so if you could, uh... y-you are a doctor, right?"

</p><p>The scent of blood strengthened. The growling deep within his throat finally cutting out, Zib turned his head towards the cockpit. Another tiny Irken dressed in the standard uniform of an Invader stood in the doorway, leaning heavily against the frame. He was slightly heftier than the first, and had dark green fur (a shade of green Zib hadn't realized Irkens could be until now). The dark-furred Irken held his stomach, deep magenta blood pooling out his mouth.

</p><p>Zib's first instinct was to feel pity. Despite the circumstances, a part of him wanted to feel bad for the dark-furred Irken, who looked as though his PAK had been pulled off and his lifeclock was ticking the seconds away before he eventually dropped dead. Biomechanical legs retracting into the depths of the machine nestled on the back of his head, Zib instinctively took a step forward... but stopped.

</p><p>He couldn't go around feeling bad for the enemy. Injured or not, feeling bad for one of the creatures he despised with a burning passion was, for lack of a better term that was <em>right there</em> on the tip of his pointed tongue, the exact opposite of what he wanted to do. And besides, these two Irkens had broken onto his ship and demanded help, right after one of them had attacked him. So sorry if he didn't want to help! Sorry if they ruined their chances of him even thinking of helping. Which, for the record, he didn't.

</p><p>"No," Zib said, his voice low.

</p><p>The purple-eyed Irken blinked owlishly. "You're... not a doctor?" he said. "Oh bloody hell, whose ship did we break into? We've got the wrong bloke—"

</p><p>"I don't help Irkens." Zib's mouth twisted around the word, a bitter taste on his tongue.

</p><p>"So you are — uh, is this about the whole smacking-you-with-a-broom thing?" The Irken seemed to be oblivious to what Zib had meant. "Look, I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting you to be so <em>big</em> — tall, I mean tall, you are very, <em>bloody</em> tall. Massive. Wasn't expecting a giant, you have to be taller than the Tallest, but, oh, but I'm just rambling again, aren't I?"

</p><p>The biomechanical legs slid back out, and the purple-eyed Irken yelped. He rushed over to the slightly heftier Irken, allowing him to lean against him. "I'm sorry! I just — you're a last restort, and we've been kind of kicked out of the Empire, you could say, nearly tossed into a sun, wouldn't you know, how rude, but—" His voice hiked up in pitch and in volume as Zib took a step towards them. "But that doesn't matter! I just, I really can't, <em>I don't want to lose my lifemate here,</em> because, wouldn't you know it, I'd be lost without him, so if you could just... help us here, we'll be on our way and out of your fur — or is that hair — uh... hullo?"

</p><p>At the word <em>lose,</em> it was almost as though someone had reached out and flicked a switch in his head. Zib hated, despised, <em>loathed</em> these two small pests and had wanted nothing more than to shoot them out into the vacuum of space, but as soon as he'd heard the word <em>lose,</em> it was like he was seeing them for the first time. Two small Irkens, one shaking with wild desperation in his eyes, the other bleeding from the mouth beside him. The pale-furred Irken was only asking for help because didn't want to lose the other Irken.

</p><p>He couldn't lose him.

</p><p>"Hello! HELLO! Oh bloody hell, I've broken him, haven't I?" The pale-furred Irken's voice was a panicked squeak. "Oh tremendous, I've gone and broken the one chance of saving my lifemate! Good one, Rex. Bloody good job there. Job well done."

</p><p>"Lose."

</p><p>Zib was so deep inside of his own head that he barely noticed he had spoken. That word that always brought back a helpless feeling any time he heard it, almost like it had wrapped around his heart and choked out whatever hope he was feeling at the time. Choke it out, strangle it, drown it, shove it in freezing cold water and watch it sizzle out — he found that whatever he used to describe hearing <em>lose</em> was surprisingly accurate.

</p><p>"Right," the purple-eyed Irken said glumly. "Losing, nasty thing, if you can imagine. Which, huge reminder here, I don't want to do. I can't — I don't want to — lose him. So, so, so... if you could kindly fix 'im up, we'll just be off. That sound good? You... you're alright, right? Not all broken, everything's working alright in there?" 

</p><p>"Lose."

</p><p>"Yup, still a bad thing! Nasty word, terrible word, don't like it one bit. Cards on the table, never liked it. Hello? Look, I don't know what's going on in that head of yours, but could you snap out of it? Now? If this wasn't such an urgent urgency, I would just leave you to it, but can this wait? Sort out all your thoughts later? Because my lifemate is bloody <em>dying</em> and I pretty much want him to live, thank you very much. Man alive, him living sounds tremendous right about now, not going to lie to you. Can't lie to you, because <em>oh bloody hell we haven't got much time left PLEASE WOULD YOU JUST HELP ALREADY?</em>"

</p><p>"L-lose...."

</p><p>"<em>Right,</em> you're beginning to sound like a broken PAK there, mate. Which, y'know, isn't exactly a good thing. And, y'know, I'm not a medical-drone, but you are kind of like one, I think, so, so, so it would be absolutely tremendous if you could unbreak right now. Bloody brilliant. This is a very urgent urgency, so, please just do something other than repeating <em>lose</em> like a broken PAK." Very quietly, the Irken said under his breath: "It's an urgent Irkency."

</p><p>The other Irken lifted his head, turning pale pink eyes to Zib. He knew they were ocular implants, synthetic fabrications of true eyes since Irkens actually had shit eyesight, but they were terribly realistic. Hypothetically speaking, if you didn't have a supercomputer attached to the back of your head, you could have gone your entire life without knowing Irkens had false eyes and you would have been fine with it. They were so realistic that you could read every emotion that burned through them. Fury, joy, determination....

</p><p>Pain, despair, sadness.

</p><p>These were drying up. Seconds away from being completely dried out, nothing but spheres in this dying Irken's head. What he said next was only one word, but it reflected the pain and desperation in his drying globes perfectly, like Zib had somehow developed mindreading powers within the span of a second. Or as though he'd been staring to the bottom of a lake. Either way, hearing this one word from this little bug's mouth tugged at his heartstrings until they snapped, breaking through to something deeply buried inside of him that he kept hidden away and protected.

</p><p>The Irken said, "Please."

</p><p>Zib caved.

</p><p>------------------

</p><p>"So... kicked out of the Empire, huh?"

</p><p>Rex almost immediately perked up, torn out of his thoughts before he processed what had been said. "Uh, oh, I guess," he said, words tumbling out of his mouth as they usually did. "You could say that, but one could also say that we <em>deserted</em> the Empire. Decided we, uh, didn't want no part of it. Classic rebel stuff, good old rebel stuff. Y'know, it's like quitting before someone can fire you... into a sun."

</p><p>There was a pause on the other end, lips pursed. "...riiight."

</p><p>This thing... Rex truly hadn't seen anything like him before. He had skin, and it was the sort of greenish-gray that suggested his lifeclock was counting down, but since he wasn't going all doolally and keeling over, his skin was naturally that color. He had disgusting veins lining the sides of his head, snaking over his skin and connecting to a PAK that very clearly belonged to a Smaller. Which clearly meant he was a rare thing, not quite forbidden but definitely unheard of: an Irken mutt (or hybrid, if you wanted to get technical).

</p><p>There were features that were recognizable as Irken, such as the long segmented tongue and rounded sharp teeth that could be considered zipperlike. But there were other features from his other half Rex couldn't exactly place: black fur on top of his head (or hair, he was debating on what it actually was), extra digits on both hands. So far, Rex had no idea about the eyes. They were both hidden underneath goggles with black lenses and a gold rim, and he didn't know if there were Irken eyes under there or if he had a different set of eyes. Either way, Rex didn't doubt his eyes were as terrifying as he was.

</p><p>And then there was one other thing: the mutt was absolutely bleeding massive. Rex was convinced he was at least a head taller than the Tallest themselves. But it wasn't like the mutt was a tall twig, no — he looked like he had swallowed a large ball and it had become his stomach. Which, admittedly, dressed in a bright red sweater, made him look like a huge target.

</p><p>"Uh, so, y'know," Rex went on, putting himself on the edge of the unnecessarily tall chair outside of the little medical bay and sticking his legs out in the air so they weren't dangling uselessly, "I just realized I actually... don't know your name. I mean, I think I know it, but you'll have to tell me so I can check if I'm right."

</p><p>There was a noticable clenching in the mutt's jaw, his grip on the roll of unused gauze in his hands tightening. It was so unnerving; with these goggles covering half of his face, Rex couldn't tell what the mutt was thinking. He'd always been used to things who were so animated and expressive and overall just <em>lively.</em> This mutt's main setting seemed to be "subtle"; there was hardly any telltale signs of him emoting anything. But his voice was so different compared to his body language; it had a weird mucus-y sound to it, which frequently made Rex want to clear his throat every time he heard him speak.

</p><p>The little hand-tightening, jaw-clenching thing the mutt had just done could (in Rex's humble opinion) mean anything; a suppressed memory had just came back him, he was feeling anger towards Rex for not knowing who he was... or he was simply just hungry. Which was a feeling Rex could remember feeling for a long time in his life, right up until That Moment. After That Moment, Rex couldn't remember the last time he'd even felt a semblance of hunger.

</p><p>For Irkens, they just constantly had a little hunger driving them forward, always constantly stuck in a state of partial hunger. It was never overwhelming, just there and hardly noticable at the best of times. It was like a... a hunting instinct somewhere in there. Rex personally believed that, like the constant whispers of "conquer conquer conquer" gently tingling at the back of an Irken's mind, the hunger also came from the PAK as a form of motivation to listen and to obey the whispering. Ever since he and his lifemate Piki had "fled" the Empire, the whispering had disappeared, taking that odd perpetual state of hunger with it. 

</p><p>Rex had just thought it was him, until Piki had confirmed that no, it wasn't him. And ever since then, Rex had occasionally found his wandering mind wondering if it had something to do with the fact both of their PAKs had been severed from the Control Brains and their... well, <em>control,</em> Rex supposed.

</p><p>But then there was this mutt. A very different creature that Rex didn't exactly understand, mainly because he was so... well, <em>different.</em> Rex idly wondered if the mutt's PAK was connected to the Control Brains.

</p><p>"One," the mutt said, his voice low as though he didn't want to distrupt the balance of the universe. "Doctor One."

</p><p>Rex's first instinct was to cheer because, yes, his suspicion that they'd gotten the right guy was correct, but he held it in when he saw look on the mutt's face. One seemed to be staring off somewhere down the hall, his mind drifting to a memory that he was currently reliving, and Rex was pretty sure that if he even opened his mouth to cheer, he would snap out of it and <em>his</em> first instinct would be to punch Rex through the nearest wall.

</p><p>So instead, Rex said: "Ha, yes, knew it. You look like your name's One, to be honest. Had a feeling that was your name. If anyone asked me, 'Hey Rex, who's that guy?' I'd've said, 'Oh, him? No idea. But he looks like he'd be called One. Big ol' number One.'"

</p><p>One flinched so hard he nearly knocked himself over. "What did you just call me?"

</p><p>Rex was rushing to cover his words, tumbling and nearly falling off the chair. "Not, not, not that I'm calling you <em>big,</em> though you are still very tall, very bloody tall, good to see that hasn't changed, not that anything's... really changed... um, uh, h-how's my lifemate doing?"

</p><p>One stood still, his hands fiddling with the roll of gauze in his hands rather anxiously, as though he wanted to ignore what Rex had just said and keep pressing for the answer he wanted. In the end, he shook his head and his anxiety seemed to disappear all at once (although his hands still fiddled with the gauze, giving him away). "Not dead," he grunted.

</p><p>Relief burst through Rex's systems; his antennae relaxed back against his head, his shoulders drooping. "That's good," Rex said. "Good news! Very good news!" His relief was short lived. "But that means there's bad news, right? Always bad news comes with good news, the twin no one likes, y'know?" His hands twisted the armored fabric of his tunic.

</p><p>"There is," One said. "Except it's terrible news."

</p><p>Rex's spooch nearly stopped. "Oh n—"

</p><p>The mutt didn't seem to notice the universe was ending, and was already talking over him. "He's going to have to stay here until he recovers. And I'm assuming that means <em>you</em> are also going to be here until then, which makes this news even worse."

</p><p>Rex blinked. "So...."

</p><p>One's hands suddenly stilled as he seemed to stand a little straighter. "He will live," he said. His voice seemed to have grown slightly colder and emptier, a strange lilt to it.

</p><p>As soon as the words were out, his head <em>jerked.</em> One stood there, almost dazed.

</p><p>It took Rex's willpower to keep his antennae standing up. You didn't need Vortian brains hooked up to your head to know One hadn't been the one to speak those words. No, it had been something else using his mouth. It wasn't the case of a classic sudden possession, but to someone unfamiliar with this sort of thing, they would have labelled it as such.

</p><p>It was not One who had spoken. It was his PAK.

</p><p>It was no secret to the Irken race that PAKs could occasionally seize control of their hosts. Rex had just thought it was the PAK, but he was having some interesting theories now that its connection to the Control Brains had been severed — that power of controlling their host... it was gone. That, or Rex hadn't found himself in a situation that warranted his PAK to take the reigns.

</p><p>He supposed that his PAK could have taken over and spurred him to strike One's round belly with a broom, but no. That had been all him. He and Piki, they were in total control of their own destinies now. Their PAKs and their helpful voices could still relay information, but now they had no say in what their hosts did. It was as incredible as it was terrifying, because not only did it mean they could stand on a planet that didn't belong to the Irken Empire and a voice in their heads wouldn't start screaming at them to take it over, it also meant they were on their own.

</p><p>Rex didn't particularly like that saying.

</p><p>Rex ended up just nodding. After all that thinking about PAKs and things, he wasn't actually sure he trusted anything who seemed to be still attached to the Control Brains. But then again, wouldn't it be pointless not to trust the thing who had saved your lifemate's life? Sure, after What Happened That Day, Rex wasn't sure he could trust anything whose PAK could still take control over their body, which was almost unusual. Rex had never thought anything of it before It Happened, but now that his PAK's connection to the Control Brains had been severed, he thought it strange and didn't like the idea of a machine that could mess with their host's head. He didn't like the idea of hanging out with any other Irkens than Piki, and he suddenly didn't like the idea of staying on One's odd ship for longer than he had to.

</p><p>From the looks of things, the feeling was mutual.

</p><p>One began listing out rules and agreements to follow if Rex wanted Piki to stay so his recovery would go smoothly, which Rex honestly did try to pay attention to and remember. There was a lot of "this is all the things you're not allowed to touch" and "these are all the areas you're not allowed to go" and "don't eject anything you find in the airlock." Rex had to refrain from asking about what he mean by that last one, because he had the feeling that an evil grin would cross One's features and he'd shoot both Rex and Piki out of the airlock if he did.

</p><p>Which Rex didn't like to imagine.

</p><p>But it would have made a pretty good revenge to them breaking into his ship.

</p><p>Which, again, had been necessary. Breaking into the mutt's ship, he meant. With a reputation quite like his, One wasn't exactly the easiest out there to find. Piki's health had been fine at the start, when they'd first started off to find their mysterious last resort outside of the Empire. But it had steadily declined, and by the time they actually did find One's purple ship that was surprisingly hard to find (proving the biggest things can be the hardest things in life to find), Piki could barely walk or function without Rex, blood pooling out of his mouth. Plus, Rex had been too anxious about not letting Piki die that he hadn't exactly thought to knock. Even if he tried, he didn't think that it would have even been heard; he wasn't exactly sure how sound worked in space, if you knocked in a vacuum devoid of sound. Rex doubted One would have heard anything. So he'd had to... do something rather manual on the doors. But it had been necessary all the same! 

</p><p>Okay, so running up and striking a bloody giant with a ball for a stomach wasn't necessary, but he'd peeked out from their hiding spot in the cockpit and thought: "OH BLOODY HELL THAT IS A BIG THING I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS BUT I HAVE TO PROTECT MY LIFEMATE FROM IT." No thoughts other than that one, reached out and grabbed the most convenient weapon available at the time, and then just did what he thought was best. A bit uncalled for, maybe. But then again, it wasn't like Rex was the best at social interactions (or what to do when it turns out the Doctor you're looking for is almost seven feet tall and rather fat... it was best One never heard that). That was Piki's area of expertise, being able to flow through a conversation as easily as lifting a finger, whereas Rex tended to put his foot in his mouth without realizing it. 

</p><p>It was an interesting quality about Piki, where he seemed to know what to say and how to say it, even when he was spurting blood out of his mouth and five seconds away from death. He seemed to know how to talk to certain people, and if he absolutely had to, how to tug on their strings to get them to do what he needed them to do. He was admittedly manipulative, but it wasn't like Piki set out to do it on purpose. No, there were occasions where they would bump into people like One. Those people who normally wouldn't budge unless Piki said something. It was always a few words, but it always seemed to work and they could carry on their merry way. Hell, all Piki had said to One was "Please," and it was like watching a wall crumbling in on itself.

</p><p>One's reaction to hearing that hadn't been very subtle at all. In that moment, it was like looking at the inside of his head. His shoulders slumped, his body deflated, his teeth grit as though holding tears back. He'd been practically tripping over himself to do whatever he could for Piki, although whatever had spurred One to do it seemed to have faded away. He seemed to be regretting his decision, since that now meant he had two Irkens aboard his ship for an undetermined amount of time. Which, again, Rex didn't exactly like the idea of, either.

</p><p>The mutt was staring down at him, a low rumbling growl gently humming from the depths of his throat. It wasn't the same growl Rex had heard him use before, but the sound pulled him out of his thoughts nonetheless, causing him to snap to attention. It took him a second to realize One had finished speaking and was waiting for some sort of response. 

</p><p>"Uh, oh, yes, I got you. Understood everything you just said perfectly."

</p><p>One's growling slowly trailed off as he nodded, stuffing the roll of gauze in the pocket of his dusty-brown jacket. He provided no other comment, lumbering off down the hallway. As soon as the mutt turned around the corner and was out of sight, Rex hopped off the chair with a little "hhmmp!" sound, moving to sit on the ground with his legs crossed. Once he felt comfortable enough, Rex looked up at the tall white door. 

</p><p>Piki had something called "spoochstaka." It hadn't necessarily slowed him down in the past, but that was before That Moment, when he'd had all the Spoochstakaminz he needed to function. But being cut off from the Empire and most of their belongings stripped away, Piki hadn't been able to receive any of that life-saving medicine. There were a lot of places you could go to pick it up, but most of those places were under control of the Empire, and Rex didn't want to exactly attract the attention of any other Irkens, if he had to be completely honest. 

</p><p>This Doctor One fellow had seemed to have held a lot of promise, though he was reputed as a normally very unlikable person, and Rex hadn't been sure One would have any Spoochstakaminz. For the most part, it seemed like a yes, but Rex would have to see if there was any way they could get some of it to go. Or if One could prescribe it or... something. That was how doctors worked, right?

</p><p>Because at this rate, it seemed like he and Piki would have to stay here with the mutt for a long time.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Mad World</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>More reasons why Zib should be considered feral and Rex doing what he does best.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>Number One.</em>

</p>
<p>The words crawled up his spine, his blood turning to ice. They brought back memories of which he wasn't fond of, back to a time where he had no capacity for regret and no regard for the lives he might have been about to snatch away. When his word of reassurance had been "probably," because that was what everything had been at the time. Everything would <em>probably</em> be okay, and something terrible <em>probably</em> won't happen. He heard the echoes of his own laughter ringing through his head, and he desperately tried to push it to the side.

</p>
<p>Zib's claws curled around the sides of the sink as he stared down at the drain. Sure, his sense of good guys and bad guys was fucked, and there was really no such thing as heroes and villains because both sides thought they were doing the right thing, but it made a lot of sense to categorize who he was as a person. Back then, he'd thought he was the good guy, the multiverse's potential savior. Now that he was older, he looked back on those memories as though they belonged to a stranger. That stranger was an insane boy with a far-too-wide-smile, who used lies to make himself feel better and actually believed those lies... up to a point.

</p>
<p>Shoving his goggles up to his forehead, Zib peered up into the cracked mirror, his reflection glaring back at him. If you had told the boy he used to be what he would eventually become, Zib was pretty sure he would have scoffed and wouldn't have believed you. Still, he looked better than he had at least... seventeen? Yeah, seventeen years ago. He'd been an absolute trainwreck then. As long as he never looked like... <em>that</em> again, he'd be fine with how he looked for the rest of his natural life.

</p>
<p><em>Big ol' number One.</em>

</p>
<p>Even if Rex hadn't exactly realized what Zib was focused on when he'd heard that, he really hadn't needed the Irken to repeat himself. He had wanted to ask the pale-furred Irken why he'd chosen to say "number One," but hadn't since the little bug seemed to be convinced that Zib was mad that he'd been called "big." To be honest, Zib had no reason why that was. Maybe it was just because Rex was so tiny and Zib was nearly seven feet tall. That, or Rex was one of those people who noticed something about you that they thought would be rude if they brought it up, but kept slipping up and kept calling you that anyway, and then spent five minutes trying to cover it up with pointless rambles, even though you could care less because you had better things to be concerned about. 

</p>
<p>Sure, there had been a time where the word <em>big</em> did have a lot of bite to it, but it didn't exactly mean much to him. Not anymore, anyway.

</p>
<p>But being called "Number One". After all this time, after months and years beating himself up about it, hearing those two words put together was like being punched in the face and then having bitingly cold water dumped over his head. It was almost as bad as hearing the word <em>lose.</em> He was pretty sure that if he hadn't accepted the name "Zib," it would have been a kick to the balls to hear, too. Not that anyone knew he was actually called that; paranoia squeezed his chest whenever he thought to introduce himself as such. Even though he knew he wasn't in <em>his</em> timeline (at least, he hoped so; to this day, he still wasn't sure which timeline he was in), it made Zib feel safer to call himself "One" in case someone somehow recognized the name "Zib" and hunted him down. Perhaps calling himself "One" hadn't been the best idea, considering the events of six years ago.

</p>
<p>What he meant was that Two had hunted him down and had tried to use his own Dib-virus against him. Zib had calmly smacked the Zim in the face with a broom every few seconds whilst he tried to monologue about how he "worked, and worked, and worked to make myself perfect for the fake you." Predictably, Two had eventually gotten sick of it, leaving with the promises of returning some day when Zib wasn't "being such an annoyance." Although he hadn't heard or seen anything from Two since, so he was pretty sure that had just been a vivid fever dream. 

</p>
<p>That, or Two was dead now. 

</p>
<p>Then there were those who came to him as a last resort due to some medical emergency. Rex and his lifemate, for example.

</p>
<p>The dark-furred Irken might as well have been seconds away from dropping dead. But Zib couldn't say <em>he'd</em> been the one who had saved the little bug, since all he did was bring him to the medical bay and set him on a table. His PAK had taken care of the rest, asking Rex questions about his lifemate's condition (which turned out to be spoochstaka, something that made the squeedlyspooch fill up with blood and shut down), and then... well, saved the little thing with something Zib could only describe as an insane vacuum.

</p>
<p>Zib turned his head, getting a good look at the back of his head in the mirror. He'd been stuck with the PAK for nearly twenty-five years now, and he was still finding at least one or two things about it everyday. It wasn't exactly a new concept for it to take control over him. His PAK refused to tell him why it did that, but Zib had a feeling it did took control when it thought it absolutely <em>had</em> to. If a situation was getting out of hand, and the PAK knew how to deal with it, then it would take the reigns and deal with it. Oh, it had been absolutely terrifying the first time it had happened. The PAK had only taken control over him for a minute, but it had been terrifying nonetheless, because one second he'd been in complete control, and the next second the PAK had taken over and made sure the thing falling down on him stopped doing that.

</p>
<p>For a long time, he'd hated the PAK for being able to do that, until he realized it wasn't hatred he was feeling. It was fear. He'd never quite realized why that was, but he'd found out that reason in recent years. He was afraid of losing control. Whether it be of the situation at hand, or something he cherished, he was always afraid of losing. But he'd gotten used to the PAK being able to do that, and over time, he'd come to accept it.

</p>
<p>In a way, he'd thought that if he'd accepted the fact something could take his control away, it would make it easier to just... let go and lose things. 

</p>
<p>Not the case.

</p>
<p>Zib pushed the goggles down over his face, leaning back and rolling his shoulders. He — hilariously enough — had lost track of time standing in the little bathroom of his ship. His PAK helpfully supplied he'd only been in there for an hour (that didn't make him feel better), which meant he'd left a little Irken Invader on his own for that long. And from his knowledge of Invaders so far, there was only so long before Rex fucked something up.

</p>
<p>Zib had the feeling Rex hadn't actually heard a word he had told him. But he hoped that the bug had at least caught some of what he said, and was doing his best to do as he was told. Or had just been like "I got you", but was now wandering the halls of <em>The Void Cruiser,</em> doing the exact opposite of what Zib had told him because he actually hadn't got him at all. He had the feeling Rex was the kind of person who would do that.

</p>
<p>Slipping out of the bathroom and back down the halls, Zib found Rex was still by the medical bay, though he was sitting in front of the door with his legs crossed, staring obediently at it with his antennae perked up. Zib paused, barely managing to stop his shoulders from slumping. The extent of an Irken's loyalty was incredible. Despite everything, Irkens were the most loyal creatures in the entire galaxy. And they were naturally loyal creatures. It almost made him feel—

</p>
<p>Zib gave himself a mental shake before he could finish that thought. It would do him no good to start developing conflicting emotions for these pesky insects. These two would stay until the other one was feeling better, and then they'd be on their way. To start admiring qualities about their kind and start liking that about them was pointless. Besides, all they were doing was slowing his progress down. He wouldn't think about them for a second when they were finally gone.

</p>
<p><em>'That's n-n-not likely,'</em> a feminine voice in the back of his head said. His PAK said something else but Zib (feeling betrayed it would call him out like this) tuned it out and didn't hear it.

</p>
<p>"You can go in, y'know," Zib told Rex. His lips slightly curled up when the Irken made a loud chirping squawk, nearly jumping over Zib's head.

</p>
<p>"Bloody hell, mate," Rex said, clutching his chest where his heart would be if he were human. "Scared me half to death, you did!"

</p>
<p>Zib ignored the tiny bit of guilt in his heart, shrugging. "It's not like I said you couldn't," he said. "Just. Don't touch anything in there."

</p>
<p>Rex huffed. "Y'know, I would love to," he said. "But...." He tried to grab the doorknob, but he couldn't reach it.

</p>
<p>Zib frowned down at the little bug. "You have robotic legs."

</p>
<p>Rex blinked. "Robot — OH! Oh, yes, right you are!" With an embarrassed chuckle, the pale-furred Irken raised himself up on his biomechanical legs, twisted the doorknob and pushed his way into the medical bay.

</p>
<p>The dark-furred Irken was comfortably curled up on his side, his chest calmly rising and falling, a cheek smushed against the table. He looked peaceful, though the scary looking tube trailing out of his mouth and occasionally pulsing ruined it. Rex immediately relaxed when his purple eyes fell upon the other Irken, his metallic legs scuttling over to his lifemate. Rex carefully removed a glove and placed a hand on the other bug's cheek, his eyes lidded and a lazy smile on his face. The other Irken steadily began to purr in his sleep. Zib, who really hadn't expected to see that, forcefully tried kept his emotions down.

</p>
<p>He'd had it set in his head that Irkens were heartless creatures without the capability of feeling love, that their loyalty was unnatural because there was no love in it. Rex was proving his point wrong, and Zib wasn't one who liked to be wrong. There was no other reason why his emotions were all over the place. None at all. Definitely not because he wanted someone to look at him like that again, no siree Bob. 

</p>
<p>Why would you even suggest such an insane idea?

</p>
<p>"Why did you come to me?" Zib asked slowly.

</p>
<p>Rex looked up, looking as though he hadn't realized Zib was still here. "Uh," the pale-furred Irken said, tugging at the collar of his tunic. Despite having no pupils to speak of, he could tell the bug was looking away. "Mostly because you were a last resort."

</p>
<p>"And why exactly am I a last resort?" Everyone who came to him always had a reason, and they always told him whether he wanted to hear it or not. If the incident with Two really had been a dream, then Rex and his lifemate were the first Irkens to come to him.

</p>
<p>He wanted to know <em>exactly</em> why they were here.

</p>
<p>The Irken chittered an equivalent to the word <em>shit</em> in his native tongue. "Well, I mean... picky and I had no where else to go, and there isn't a lot of people who'd just sell Spoochstakaminz to an Irken couple who're supposed to be shot into a <em>sun.</em> Or, y'know, who would save one of their lives, because there is an ungodly amount of people who hate Irkens, don't'cha know. By the way, don't know if I've said this before, but thank you for doing that. Err... saving my lifemate, I mean. I honestly don't know what I'd do without picky here. Get myself killed in the stupidest way possible, probably. That's almost happened a few times. I'm not just saying that. I have almost gotten myself killed by tripping, it's a long story, but what happened was that I—" 

</p>
<p>"Picky?" 

</p>
<p>"Oh, right!" Rex awkwardly chuckled, scratching the side of his neck. "Sorry, that's my lifemate's name. P-I-K-I. Piki." 

</p>
<p>"Hmmm," Zib said. "Y'know, I really should have <em>picked</em> up on that."

</p>
<p>Rex froze, his brow furrowed. He repeated what Zib had said under his breath, and if Irkens had distinct eyebrows, he was pretty sure Rex's would have flown off his head. "OH!" he said. "Oh, I get it! Clever word play! Picked. Pfft. Nice."

</p>
<p>Zib couldn't tell if he was being polite for the hell of it, or if he genuinely found that amusing. So far, he'd known Irkens to take everything literally and didn't have the word "sarcasm" in their dictionary. "Clever word play" was probably the closest thing Irkens had to "puns." Well, it was probably the closest thing <em>Rex</em> had to "puns."

</p>
<p>The pale-furred Irken glanced down at Piki, huffing a little sigh. "How long will he be out for?" he asked.

</p>
<p>Zib abruptly felt as though he'd been shoved to the side, which was how it always felt when his PAK suddenly took control; he could see and think, but he couldn't do anything. "A few days," the PAK said through his mouth.

</p>
<p>Rex's brows creased. He seemed to hesitate before asking: "How many days?"

</p>
<p>The PAK shifted his gaze to Piki though it didn't move his head, and began calculating. Thinking. Processing. Looking back to Rex, it told him: "Three days."

</p>
<p>"..." was the only thing Zib could use to explain the look on Rex's face. "So... is that, uh, <em>also</em> how long it's going to take for him to recover? 'Cause, y'know, I, uh...." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, important question, is it possible to get some of that good ol' Spoochstakaminz stuff to go?"

</p>
<p>Zib could almost feel his PAK struggling to think of which question to answer first. Which also happened to give him a headache as well.

</p>
<p>"Okay, taking that as a maybe for both," Rex eventually said. He awkwardly chuckled then coughed, turning his attention to the tube in his lifemate's mouth. He didn't exactly say anything, and his PAK decided that since the Irken had stopped talking, it was time for Zib to take control over his own body again. Zib's head involuntarily jerked, and he dazedly blinked, feeling as though he'd been forcefully shoved back into his own body. Fun.

</p>
<p>"So, this tube," Rex said slowly, "is keeping his spooch from filling up with blood?"

</p>
<p>The tube pulsed. "Yes," Zib said. "Don't touch it."

</p>
<p>"Wouldn't dream of it, mate," Rex said, holding his hands up in surrender. "Frightening-looking, though. Oooh, dangerous and mysterious, ahhh." He waggled his fingers. When Zib didn't offer any response, he coughed again and allowed his hands to drop by his sides. "So! Three days. That's... something, huh?"

</p>
<p>"I know you're trying to make awkward small talk, but please," Zib said. "Stop. I don't care about you. I don't care about your lifemate. And you don't have to go around pretending you give a damn about me. I'm letting you stay, but don't. Push it."

</p>
<p>"...right," the pale-furred Irken said, his antennae falling back against his head.

</p>
<p>"Do us all a favor and stay put," Zib went on. "I have to make sure the ship didn't drift into Irken Space. Don't touch anything."

</p>
<p>As he left the room, he heard Rex mumble to himself: "Blimey, it's not like you haven't told me that a billion times now."

</p>
<p>Zib huffed, though he chose not to go back and snap at him for that. Truth was, he was afraid he'd form an attachment and actually start <em>liking</em> Rex if he continued to talk to him. And vice versa. He didn't exactly need to start liking Irken scum, and he didn't exactly want any of them to start liking him. It'd do him no good. He didn't want that to be on his conscience.

</p>
<p>Plus, to form any sort of emotional attachment to these pesky ants would be a foolish thing to do. They were the enemy. If he could remember that, tell himself to remember that, then this shouldn't be a problem.

</p>
<p><em>Shouldn't</em> being the key word here. It wasn't to say his emotions didn't betray him at the worst of times... or even the best of times. The events of seventeen years ago, for example.

</p>
<p>(Why didn't he just... stay with him? He didn't have to go... he should have continued to convince him to stay. He should have....)

</p>
<p><em>The Void Cruiser</em>'s autopilot was reliable. It tended to wander the outskirts of Irken Space, though it never came close enough to draw attention. Which was fine by Zib. Well, he mostly never drew attention from those Irken bastards, not counting present company. Although, there were times where the ship had steadily began to drift into Irken Space, and he had to manually pilot it out and away. It hadn't drifted this time, and from the looks of things, it hadn't drawn anymore unwanted attention.

</p>
<p>Zib sat down in the pilot's seat, rubbing his temples. His head felt overstuffed. He had to deal with two Irkens for three days, and the conscious one appeared to be quite... destructive. He was pretty sure Rex could do more than just hit people in the stomach with a broom. If "almost killing myself by tripping" was anything to go off of, Rex was either as destructive or more destructive than a Zim. If it was the latter, holy crap. He hadn't thought that was possible for someone to be more destructive than <em>Zim.</em>

</p>
<p>Rex hadn't really displayed any "Zim" traits, which was a good sign. No "I am Rex" and talking in third person. But he seemed to be incredibly dense and spoke as though he'd die on the spot if he stopping flapping his lips for a second. He just seemed to want to <em>talk.</em> It was incredibly annoying, and no amount of evidence that British accents were supposed to be charming could change his mind. On that, Rex's voice didn't seem to fit his short little body. It sounded as though it belonged to someone <em>way</em> taller, with a lot of knees and a face like a hare caught in the headlights of an articulated truck. 

</p>
<p>It didn't work with a tiny Irken.

</p>
<p>He had no idea about Piki. He contrasted with Rex perfectly; dark green fur, bright pink eyes, curly antennae. If their personalities were like that as well, Piki was probably quieter and the one with the braincell. It seemed almost like a curse to give Piki spoochstaka and force Zib to deal with the bumbling moron of the two. Selfish thinking, maybe. But he hadn't exactly asked to deal with a tiny motormouth who could probably destroy the ship if he looked away from him for too long. 

</p>
<p><em>He hasn't exactly done anything too bad,</em> a little voice said. Zib took that little voice, shoved it into an imaginary box, drowned that box in locks, slammed walls down around it and threw the key into a lava pit. NOPE. NO WAY. ABSOLUTELY NOT. THAT VOICE WASN'T FOR IRKENS.

</p>
<p>Zib emitted a growl. God, if his emotions were going to be like this, three days were going to feel like <em>forever.</em>

</p>
<p>------------------

</p>
<p>One was frustrated. Rex could tell.

</p>
<p>He couldn't tell what the mutt was so frustrated over, but he was assuming he was the cause. One would talk to Rex (or rather, Rex would talk to One and One would act like he was five seconds away from smashing his own head into a wall) until he just left. Rex tried not to be hurt by it, but with his lifemate unconscious, there was practically nothing else to do.

</p>
<p>Except to wander, which he had a feeling One would absolutely smash <em>his</em> head into a wall if he went anywhere near one of the areas the mutt had told him not to go. So it was better to find other ways to entertain himself.

</p>
<p>Or keep himself from getting on One's bad side, though he suspected that was too late.

</p>
<p>A day had already passed aboard One's ship, and it was nearing the end of the second. Rex hadn't thought it was possible, but One had seemed to have gotten even <em>crankier.</em> His hostility was often sudden and completely out of nowhere. It was like trying to work around a timebomb, except this one would blow the entire universe up if you said the wrong thing at the wrong time. 

</p>
<p>Piki was still unconscious, of course. Judging from his contented purring, the tube wasn't giving him nightmares of things crawling down his throat. 

</p>
<p>Rex personally wondered how you could purr with something down your throat, but he wasn't complaining. The purring meant Piki was happy and alive. Rex would often startle when the purring cut out, but it meant Piki was just shifting in his sleep. The metal table probably wasn't comfortable. But it didn't seem to take anything away from his happiness, so Rex refrained from asking One if there were any guest rooms.

</p>
<p>Piki twitched in his sleep, brows furrowed. His purring had cut off while Rex was thinking. He watched his lifemate kick in his sleep, his curled antennae pressed against his head. Rex took off one of his gloves, gently resting a hand against Piki's cheek. Piki tensed, freezing in place. A long minute passed before the other Irken relaxed, his antennae slowly perking back up. He began to quietly purr again.

</p>
<p>Rex carefully ran a thumb along his cheek. Piki's short dark fur was still soft, which was a good sign. He was still healthy. Still happy.

</p>
<p>At least there were <em>some</em> good things here.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Zib has violent ways of dealing with his emotions. And yes. There is an explanation for why Zib's mirror is cracked.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Downhill</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zib has emotions, Irkens have emotions, EMOTIONS ARE JUST EVERYWHERE TODAY.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <strong>!~ POTENTIAL WARNING — zib doesn't have a positive response to something that occurs in this chapter ~!<strong></strong></strong>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There were those who would say Irkens never dreamed, but if those people ever told that to Piki, they would have gotten an earful on the contrary.

</p><p>Dreams swirled through Piki's head. He dreamed of Irk, the gatherings of Irkens with no cares and at least five drums, who'd sing and dance and drum away until the pale blue glow of the morning caused the group to scatter away. He dreamed of him and his lifemate dancing, Rex barely managing not to stumble and trip over his own feet, but the wide grin plastered on his face suggested he didn't care the slightest about that. 

</p><p>He dreamed of himself laughing, his arm looped through Rex's, the two of them singing along. Their SIR units — Pocko and Wheats, as they had named them — were chasing each other around like little smeets training to be Invaders.

</p><p>Slowly but surely, the dreams began to fade. Piki softly groaned, distantly aware of something snaking down his throat and into his squeedlyspooch. The feeling of the thing pulsing was what caused his eyes to snap open, sending his dreams scattering like the Irkens that had been in them. He wasn't on Irk; he was laying on top of a table, his cheek pressed against the cool metal. Alarmed, he sat up and began tugging at what turned out to be a tube, making obnoxiously loud gagging sounds as it steadily made its way out of his throat.

</p><p>"PIKI!" 

</p><p>Something violently threw itself at him, wrapping its arms around him and squeezing the life out of him. "Oh man alive, thank Bloop you're alright," it said. "I almost thought I'd lost you."

</p><p>Piki couldn't talk, what with the tube in his throat, but he returned the hug and squeezed his eyes shut. He began to quietly purr.

</p><p>Rex held him out at arm's length. "Look, Doc told me not to touch that tube," he said. "He technically didn't say you couldn't touch it, so... if you want that out... it might hurt though, but I don't know. Be careful?"

</p><p>With a loud "HRRRRRRRK!" sound, Piki eventually pulled the tube out. His throat sore and his voice crackling like no tomorrow, he said: "Zero out of ten, worst thing I've ever felt."

</p><p>Rex laughed, then pulled him back into a hug, resting his forehead against Piki's. "I love you so much," he said. "Don't you ever forget that."

</p><p>Piki huffed a fond sigh. "It's not like you remind me a thousand times a day."

</p><p>Rex awkwardly chuckled. "Well, at least that way you'll never forget," he said.

</p><p>Someone cleared their throat. Both Piki and Rex yelped, nearly jumping out of their tunics.

</p><p>"Bloody hell — <em>SERIOUSLY?</em>" Rex said. "Is that your favorite activity? Scaring the dookie out of Irkens?"

</p><p>Piki vaguely remembered seeing the thing that stood in the doorway. Standing nearly seven feet tall, the creature he was assuming to be Doctor One had both of his hands stuff into his pockets. Despite his nonchalant pose, anyone with a keen eye could see the corners of his lips were slightly curved up. The Doctor innocently shrugged.

</p><p>"Well, anyway," Rex said even though One hadn't said a word, turning his attention back to Piki. "You feelin' alright there? Everything working alright?"

</p><p>Piki furrowed his brows, thinking. "My throat hurts," he said. "My spooch feels like an insane vacuum's been hanging out in there." He brightened up, allowing a smile to cross his features and his antennae to stand up. "But other than that, I'm okay!"

</p><p>His lifemate's antennae drooped with relief. "Blessed Bloop," he said, pulling him into another hug. "Good to hear it."

</p><p>Piki returned Rex's hug, nuzzling his cheek against Rex's, purring with his eyes closed. His purrs trailed off as he opened an eye, taking note of the fact One's smile had faded. He seemed... <em>sad.</em> 

</p><p>Piki untangled himself from the hug (much to Rex's apparent confusion), trying to hop off the table. He fell down, his legs too wobbly to keep him standing; Rex yelped in surprise, hopping off the table to help him stand up. Once he was able to properly keep his balance, Piki unsteadily waddled over to One. The creature looked down at him, almost surprised. After a long pause, Piki moved to wrap his arms around One's leg, burying his face into it.

</p><p>"Thank you," Piki said in a little sweet voice, muffled.

</p><p>There was a long high-pitched whine Piki soon realized was coming One. Piki was barely unable to stifle his surprise the Doctor suddenly picked him up, wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug, dropping to his knees.

</p><p><em>[Why are you being so kind to me?]</em> One asked in Irken. <em>[You barely even know me... what did I do to deserve this?]</em>

</p><p>Piki smiled, rubbing the creature's back. <em>[Everyone deserves a little kindness every once in a while,]</em> he told him. "Besides, you looked like you needed a hug."

</p><p>One choked on a sob, his entire body shaking. Piki took note of the PAK on the back of his head. His veins weren't exactly pretty to look at, bulbous and pink against his greenish-gray skin, connected to his PAK in a way that was nearly impossible. Piki refrained from reaching up and yanking on one of them to see what he'd do.

</p><p>That wouldn't be very nice.

</p><p>"How on Irk...?" Rex's voice was quiet, as though afraid of what One would do if he spoke too loudly. "Y'know what, nevermind." 

</p><p>One seemed to realize what he was doing and let go of Piki, jumping back. With a sound that was way too intense to be him just clearing his throat, One tried to speak as clearly as he could, although there was a noticable waver in it, as if his emotions had been shaken like a pair of maracas and it was hard to keep them all in one place. 

</p><p>"I guess this means this is it?" he said. "You'll be leaving soon."

</p><p>"Well, not that soon," Rex said with an awkward laugh. "We're definitely going to need some Spoochstakaminz to go. Plus, it's kind of Piki's spooch's call. If it doesn't start abruptly filling up with blood in an hour...."

</p><p>"We'll be gone like the wind!" Piki finished cheerfully.

</p><p>One sighed, though Piki couldn't tell it was an annoyed sigh, a relieved sigh, or both wrapped up in a pretty little package. "I'll...." He made that way-too-intense-throat-clearing sound again. "I'll see what I can... d-do." 

</p><p>Piki's brows creased in concern. "Are you okay?"

</p><p>"<em>Fine!</em>" One said through grit teeth. "Never better. Thanks for pointlessly asking."

</p><p>------------------

</p><p>"So. One's not okay."

</p><p>"You're telling me," Rex said. "He's so... pissy. It's like his head's about to explode. Don't know what's going on with him, but he needs to get that anger problem checked out."

</p><p>Piki shook his head. "That's not what I meant," the other Irken said. "He's... sad."

</p><p>Rex opened his mouth, but closed it. Piki had a seventh sense for these sorts of things. But <em>sad</em> wasn't exactly a word Rex would ever associate Doc with. No, because that word was <em>mad.</em> Either way, it would do him no good to argue with Piki. Not that he'd really gotten the memo before.

</p><p>"If that's true, then he's... ohh, what's a word for sad and mad?" Rex thought on it until it came to him. "He's smad. Very smad."

</p><p>"That's not a word, hun," Piki said fondly. 

</p><p>"Yeah, well, I don't know any other words that are a mix of both," Rex said, shrugging.

</p><p>Piki smiled, but it only lasted for a second. He began pacing around the medical bay, anxiously running a hand over his antennae. "I know you want to get out of here," he said, "and I do too, but what'll happen when we leave? What'll happen when we run out of Spoochstakaminz, or if someone catches us? We're supposed to be dead."

</p><p><em>You're not,</em> Rex thought. "I'm sure we'll figure things out," he said.

</p><p>Piki stopped pacing, tapping a boot against the floor. "What if our luck's finally run out?" he asked. "If we leave, if we run out of Spoochstakaminz... if we get caught again... what'll happen to us? I'm sure One won't want to see us again."

</p><p>Rex blinked. "I... hadn't thought of that."

</p><p>Piki's brow ridges raised. "You hadn't thought of that?"

</p><p>"You know I don't think things forward!" Rex told him. "It's always the heat of the moment with me! You didn't exactly encode with me for my brains."

</p><p>Piki sighed. "That's it," he said, pulling himself up onto the table and sitting down beside Rex. "We're done for."

</p><p>"Hey, don't think like that," Rex said, startled. "There's a chance we might not be! Maybe we can go somewhere we know the fleet won't go, and we'll go out and find Doc whenever we run out." He reached out to place a hand on Piki's shoulder. "How does that sound?"

</p><p>Piki shook his head again, a small smile on his face. "How do you do it?" he asked. 

</p><p>Rex tilted his head, puzzled. "How do I what?"

</p><p>"You always stay so positive," Piki said. "Even when things are going wrong, and I'm giving up, you look on the bright side of things. It's like you're ignoring everything bad and keeping morale up."

</p><p>Rex smiled back. "Someone around here has to make sure we don't fall into despair."

</p><p>A small laugh. Piki leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder. "Well, it's working," he told him. He paused. "Rex?"

</p><p>"Hmm?"

</p><p>"I love you, okay? Whatever happens, never forget that." 

</p><p>Rex cupped a hand against Piki's cheek. "Never," he promised. "Never in a million years will I forget. Of everything I forget, that's the only thing I never have, and never will."

</p><p>Piki wrapped his arms around Rex's neck, burying his face into Rex's chest. "Good," he said, his voice muffled. 

</p><p>Rex wrapped his arms around his lifemate, resting his chin on top of his head, their purrs perfectly syncing. Piki hadn't left, and all he'd been was unconscious. But boy oh boy, he never wanted to be separated from him ever again.

</p><p>"So," Rex eventually said. "You wanna... find Doc and see what he says?"

</p><p>"...yeah," Piki said. 

</p><p>Rex hopped off the table first, helping his lifemate to the floor in case he fell over again. Both walked out of the room, setting off to find the mutt. The only problem was that it was hard to find Doc. Doc would usually just come to him, so Rex really hadn't had a reason to walk out of the medical bay to find him. But man oh man, it was like trying to find his ship all over again.

</p><p>At some point, the two came across the airlock. Rex remembered Doc saying something about the airlock, but he couldn't remember when he'd heard him talking about it, or why. The two ended up having to raise themselves up with their biomechanical legs, peering inside through the circular window. Inside was a beautiful mess of tech and parts. Littering every inch of the airlock, piles and piles of what appeared to be useless junk. But y'know, if Doc wanted to keep a bunch of useless junk in an airlock, then Rex wasn't going to say anything about it. Perhaps he was planning on shooting them out at a later date in time. 

</p><p>But what on Irk was it that Doc had said about the airlock? 

</p><p>Piki scrunched his face up. "That's a lot of junk in there," he noted. "Bloop, what does he even need that stuff for?"

</p><p>"Beats me," Rex said with a shrug. "<em>WAITWAITWAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING—</em>"

</p><p>What happened here was that Rex had finally remembered what Doc had said about the airlock, just a few seconds too late. Piki, who hadn't been listening up to this point, had hit a button to eject the trash into space. Rex's spooch stopped, his blood turning to ice. "No need to alarm you, but Doc told me — and this is really funny, you're going to laugh — but he said not to shoot anything out of the airlock. You uh... you kinda did it before I told you."

</p><p>Piki looked at Rex, unimpressed. "I take what I said before back. I hate you."

</p><p>"I'm sorry!" Rex cried. "I'm actually sorry! I was actually, <em>literally</em> just about to tell you, but then you did it and I told you too late and that warning's useless now!"

</p><p>"So it's my fault then?" 

</p><p>"NO! Nonono, I didn't say that! When did I say that? Never said that! <em>Never said that!</em> Although you could have warned me you were about to do that, and I could have, y'know, said 'Oh don't do that, Doc told me not to do that', and you would've said 'Oh cool, guess I won't shoot whatever-all-this-stuff-is-for out into the vacuum of space, thanks for warning me about that super important fact, Rex, guess I won't do that after all', and, y'know, that wouldn't have happened. Crisis averted. But uh... you didn't warn me. And uh... now we have a crisis on our hands. Um... actually, why <em>did</em> you do that?"

</p><p>Piki blankly stared out of the airlock for a second, then turned back to Rex. "I don't know."

</p><p>Rex sighed. "I think I finally understand how you feel when I do something stupid."

</p><p>"<em>No.</em>"

</p><p>Fear burst through Rex's entire being at the word, a matching expression on Piki's face as they turned to see Doc standing behind them. The hybrid's normally greenish-gray skin was colorless. For once, what he was feeling was clear even to Rex.

</p><p>Horror.

</p><p>Rex and Piki backed away as the mutt stomped over, staring out of the airlock. "Nononononono," he said, his voice small and disbelieving. "This can't be happening. There's no way this is happening. No. <em>No.</em> This isn't possible." 

</p><p>The second his shock seemed to wear off, Doc clenched his fists, shaking with rage. "You idiot," he growled at Piki. "Do you realize what you've done?"

</p><p>"I—" Piki squeaked, shrinking into himself. 

</p><p>"You've ruined EVERYTHING!" A biomechanical leg shot out of his PAK, and Piki barely managed to jump back before he was sent flying across the room. "<em>EVERYTHING!</em> THEY'RE ALL GONE! THEY'RE ALL GONE, AND I'M NEVER GETTING THEM BACK! AND IT'S ALL BECAUSE OF YOU!" Piki's metallic legs retracted, dropping him onto the floor; the other Irken narrowly escaped from receiving a faceful of claws. "I can't believe I... I-I...."

</p><p>Doc pressed his hands against the sides of his head. He collasped to his knees, looking almost deflated. "Why?" he asked, his previous anger replaced with despair. "Why does this keep <em>happening</em> to me? What did I do to deserve this? I just wanted... I didn't <em>know....</em>"

</p><p>He curled up on his side, his body wracked with great, heaving sobs. "I-I'm never going to see him again."

</p><p>Piki looked up at Rex. Despite the near brush with death, his face was wrought with guilt and pity, his curled antennae pressed against the back of his head. He crouched down beside Doc, reaching out to rest a hand on his side. The mutt tensed and flinched, pushing his hand away. "Please... don't touch me," Doc whimpered. Tears leaked out from his goggles, pooling onto the floor. 

</p><p>"I didn't know those parts meant so much to you," Piki said apologetically, clearly neglecting to mention how it was a terrible idea to keep your most valued possessions in the airlock. "I'm so sorry, One. If I'd known...."

</p><p>Doc stood up, choking on sobs as he stumbled away with his arms tightly wrapped around himself. Rex and Piki trailed behind him, though he really didn't seem to notice. A lot of things suddenly made sense when Doc headed down to the kitchen, opened the fridge, scooped up as much food as he could carry in his arms, and dumped them out onto the table before... well, you would have thought he hadn't eaten in weeks.

</p><p>Rex exchanged a look with Piki. He knew right away before he even looked into his lifemate's bright pink eyes. That was the thing about Piki; sometimes you <em>knew</em> what he was about to say. He was stupidly predictable like that, a flaw that the other Irken wasn't fond of. But it was easy to tell what he was going to say so weren't surprised by it, so you could nod and agree with him before you could even argue, since it was no use arguing with Piki.

</p><p>They were staying.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WHY DO YOU KEEP YOUR MOST VALUED POSSESSIONS IN THE AIRLOCK WHERE A TINY IRKEN CAN POTENTIALLY LAUNCH THEM INTO THE FUCKING <em><strong>VACUUM OF SPACE—</strong></em></p><p> </p><p>Yeah... pretty much realized Zib didn't have a real motive except for "I wanna be a hero," so I went back behind the scenes to answer the question - what's Zib's real motive for trying to take down the Irken Empire? I figured it out now, but the question is now - who's this mysterious "he" Zib references from time to time? Is it Zim? Number Two? Someone else?</p><p> </p><p>P.S: That "I'm never going to see him again" flew right over Rex's head. I mean... I know Rex, not because I created him. Piki'll most likely think about it, but Rex forgot about what Zib said about the airlock, so he most likely hasn't heard him say "I'm never going to see him again."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Change of Plan!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When two idiots start bouncing an idea between them like a rubber ball, there's often no way of turning back.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <strong>!~ POTENTIAL WARNING — our boi zibbers is in a pretty bad way at first but at least he gets a little better ~!</strong>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>For months, he had taken comfort in the fact there were thousands upon thousands of exits. Ways out, should he ever need them. But when they had all been taken away, his hope had been reduced to a little sliver hanging by a thread, about to be blown away like dust in the wind at any second.

</p><p>An inhuman growl escaped past his lips. It was that other Dib's fault that he was trapped here again. Sure, his alternate's Zim had been the one to destroy his zapper and ruin pretty much everything else, but there had to have been a starting point to it all. That Zim couldn't have gotten out on his own. That other Dib had to have been at the center of it all.

</p><p><em>"...em-moved."</em>

</p><p>Dib looked back up to the red screen, where the image of his own timeline was currently being displayed. It was the current state of the remains of his universe — the zapper in ruins, not a rift in sight. "What?" he whispered to himself, his brow furrowed. He spoke up. "Computer! Display previous file on my timeline."

</p><p><em>"Un-nable to di-di-display requested fiii-i-iiile."</em>

</p><p>He bashed a fist against the screen. As though his computer hadn't taken enough of a beating when the zapper had been destroyed already. "That's not possible! What's going on?"

</p><p><em>"Pre-pre-previous files... haaaaaa-a-aaaave been re-re-re-removed... as you requested, Num-Number One."</em>

</p><p>"NO! I didn't...! I never said to get rid of them!" he exclaimed. "Get them back! Undo! Reverse! Something! <em>Anything!</em>"

</p><p><em>"Unable to re-re-retrieve fiiiiiiii-i-iiiles."</em>

</p><p>He bashed a fist against the screen again. It was all he could take. Dib felt whatever strength he had left leave him. He felt cold despite the warm red glow of the screen before him. He began to shake, tears streaming down his cheeks. "No...." he said softly, as though that would do something. "Undo. Undo... please." 

</p><p>His hand slid down the screen as he fell to his knees. He curled up into a ball on the floor. He didn't make an audible sound, but he stayed there for a long time.

</p><p>------------------
 
</p><p>Rex and Piki hadn't seen Doc in weeks. 

</p><p>Well, not face to face, anyway.

</p><p>After what Rex now dubbed the Airlock Incident, the hybrid had eventually chosen to lock himself up in his room, refusing to speak to anyone. Well, at first Rex had assumed Doc had locked the door. And he had also thought Doc would have shooed them out. Yet no, didn't do either. It had been Piki's idea to bring him something to eat, but now it had become a routine. Rex honestly felt bad. Doc had seemed tired, but ready to kick life in the face if he had to. It was almost jarring to see him go from that to... <em>this.</em>

</p><p>Rex pushed his way into the room, with his usual greeting of: "Oi-oi! Anyone home?" 

</p><p>There was an impossible nest of blankets on top of a mattress near one corner of the room. Doc's boots, goggles and jacket sat beside it. The only sign of Doc himself being in the room was the gloved hand that poked out the side of the blanket nest with its claws digging into the mattress, and the two-toed bare feet that poked out the bottom. That was the most of Doc they saw these days. A hand and two feet. 

</p><p>Rex heard Doc make a soft groaning noise, a telltale sign he'd been asleep when he walked in. His feet pulled themselves into the depths of the nest, but the hand stayed out, turning itself over so its palm was facing up. Almost hesitantly, Rex crouched down beside the mattress, took something off the tray — a rather questionable sandwich at first glance — and placed it in Doc's hand. Rex watched both the hand and the sandwich disappear into the nest. After several minutes, Doc's hand reappeared.

</p><p>This was usually how this went. The same old thing, at the exact same time. At this point, Rex and Piki's internal clocks had tuned themselves so they would know the exact second they had to start getting everything ready. Doc didn't exactly have the best reaction to either of them being even just a second too late, because he seemed to have it set in his head that if no one was in his room by this precise time, he had been abandoned. His response was often to start sobbing uncontrollably, ask what was wrong was him, and wonder why he'd been left behind again. 

</p><p>Doc just seemed to cry a lot. Even if they did things perfectly, there were those times where Doc would abruptly start crying for seemingly no reason. Both Piki and Rex refused to leave the room for the rest of the day when that happened.

</p><p>However, there were some... downsides. With Doc refusing to move, along with Rex and Piki's... uh, not-being-a-part-of-the-Empire-anymore, supplies were beginning to dwindle. They were steadily running out of Spoochstakaminz, which Doc hadn't had much of in the first place. And then there was the whole issue surrounding food for Doc... as well as what might happen if they ran out (the fact his appetite was nearly as big as he was didn't help). His mentality was already so delicate. Rex was personally afraid Doc would start beating himself up about the fact he'd eaten everything if that happened.

</p><p>The mutt's hand did eventually stop reappearing. Doc shifted underneath the nest with a heavy sigh, but that was all the sound he made this time around. No sudden crying fits. Piki would stay in the room quietly until it became evident Doc had fallen back asleep. Rex on the other hand wasn't one to stay quiet. Although Doc hardly ever spoke back, and never showed any signs that it was on his nerves, Rex liked to quietly talk about random things until he didn't know what else to talk about.

</p><p>Rex carefully set the tray down, parking himself beside it with his back facing the nest. 

</p><p>"Look, I know I normally don't talk about this sort of thing," he started. "I won't lie to you, things are getting pretty bad out here. For me and Piki, this is all so... new and different. I have to tell you the truth: we didn't rebel from the Empire. We didn't... haven't fled. We aren't exiled, neither. I... I don't think. We were supposed to die. Well, more accurately, <em>I</em> was. Tossed into the sun. I'm sure I've mentioned that to you a bunch of different times. I bet you're wondering why. Well, the truth is, I... messed up pretty badly. I nearly destroyed <em>The Massive.</em> I know, shocker. How do you nearly destroy something so bloody... well, <em>massive?</em> By accidentally pouring a slooshie into the engines, apparently. Don't ask me how that happened, I, uh... I honestly don't know what to tell you.

</p><p>"The problem is, the Tallest decided that because I'm Piki's lifemate, it's somehow also <em>his</em> fault too. So they took away most of our belongings, deactivated our SIRs, and ordered some bloke to fly to the nearest sun and launch the both of us into it. But we're both here and alive, so how did we avoid that fate? Well, it turns out not many Irkens are prepared to launch one of their own into a bleeding fireball of death. When his guard was down... when he hesitated, I... well, I bumped him off. 

</p><p>"I know it seems a little cruel, but I didn't think it was fair that I was dragging Piki down with me, so... I did what I felt was right. Piki's only mistake was that he encoded with the wrong Irken." Rex sighed. "Bless him. If you told me I'd meet someone like him, I would have laughed at you. I honestly don't know what I'd do without Piki. I nearly destroy <em>The Massive,</em> he stays right by my side. I bump off another Irken, he's still there. I remember to tell him about something you told me not to do just seconds too late, he blames himself instead of me. It's really not his fault, I should remembered that sooner. Sorry about that, by the way.

</p><p>"That's why we came to you. Err... not to fire your stuff out of an airlock. Because I wouldn't know what I'd do if I didn't have Piki. The only places that sell Spoochstakaminz are under the control of the Empire, and you don't exactly sell that kind of stuff to an Irken who almost destroyed the flagship of the Irken Armada, and who's supposed to be deader than a doorknob. You were honestly the only option we had left, and even then I wasn't sure Piki was going to make it. Boy, was it a relief that by some miracle you had some.

</p><p>"Another thing, and I'm not blaming you for it, but we're actually running out of the stuff. We're holding out and making it last as long as it can, but once it's out, that's it. We can't go out and get things ourselves. Not without the threat of some other Irkens recognizing us and reporting it to the Irken authorities. And maybe this time the Tallest'll order someone who doesn't have a conscience to shoot us into a blackhole. I don't really know."

</p><p>Rex bitterly chuckled. "The Tallest. By some miracle, they found a way out of that deadly Florpus Hole. But they're still the same blokes they've always been. Last I checked, they're still ignoring a distress call from a planet called Maurrs. And they're still doing nothing about the malfunctioning SIR units sent to Meekrob. I'm pretty sure there was something about them firing the first Invader to conquer his planet in Operation Impending Doom II out of a bleeding cannon... all because he was too short. Those two, oooooooh." He shook a fist at the ceiling, though he knew Doc couldn't see it. "They don't care, do they? No! They really don't. For all I care, all they care about is if one of their donuts is missing. Frankly, a few donuts really <em>ought</em> to be missing from the bag there."

</p><p>Rex sighed, his antennae drooping to his shoulders. "I do miss the Empire, not going to lie. Not the Tallest though, they can go shove themselves. But man oh man, imagine if some <em>other</em> Tallest was in control. One who actually cared about their people, and didn't chuck two Irkens into a sun just because one of them nearly destroyed a flagship. Who didn't shoot Irkens out of cannons because they're too small, and did actually do something if it turns out the SIRs they sent are malfunctioning. And didn't ignore a distress call, just because it was too far away." He put his chin in his hands. "Too bad there's no one out there who can match the current Tallests' heights. Man alive, that would be incredible if someone like that replaced them. Maybe they'd let Piki and I back into the Empire, and let us have our SIRs back. I know Piki would definitely be over the moons if he got Pocko back."

</p><p>He sighed again, pausing for a long minute while he thought. Rex opened his mouth to continue speaking when he heard Doc sharply inhale. The mutt's head poked out of the nest, and Rex was shocked to discover he was missing an eye; the remaining eye, however, had to be one of the weirdest but strangely fascinating things Rex had ever seen. Black and warm brown, with tiny little speckles of gold that weren't noticable unless you were looking closely, as though someone had thrown them into his eye and they had splattered all over the place. Around that was an extraordinarily pale yellow, a disgusting but interesting color he'd never seen before.

</p><p>Doc stared dazedly at Rex before pushing the nest of blankets off of his body and moving to stand. His center of balance seemed to have been thrown off, since his middle appeared to be... heavier than Rex remembered it being. Added with the fact he hadn't used his legs in a while, his arms windmilled before he fell back into a sitting position with his feet splayed out in front of him. He blinked down at his legs before looking up at Rex again. That dazed look on his face hadn't faltered for a second. He looked like someone had reached out and knocked on his head. In this case, nobody was home to answer the door.

</p><p>Rex nervously swallowed, standing up. It was utterly terrifying, because he couldn't tell if it was Doc or his PAK in control for once.

</p><p>"Hullo?" he said cautiously. "Is ev—?"

</p><p>"What if I was the Tallest?"

</p><p>Rex's mouth immediately snapped shut, startled. He wasn't sure if he heard him right. "I'm sorry, what?" 

</p><p>"What if I was the Tallest?"

</p><p>Same six words, though his voice was less crackly. Stronger. Full of <em>life.</em>

</p><p>"I don't exactly understand, mate," Rex said. "Why're you asking that?"

</p><p>Doc made a little huffing-whine, irritation crossing his features. "You said I was taller than the Tallest," he said. "What if <em>I</em> replaced them?"

</p><p>Rex didn't quite process what the mutt had said at first. "Well, you are bloody tall, bu—"

</p><p>And then, right in the middle of speaking, the full force of what Doc had said struck him in the forehead as though someone had thrown a stone at it as hard as they possibly could. He felt his brow ridges twitch up, his mouth hanging wide open. "OHH! Oh, that's brilliant!" he said. "You <em>are</em> tall enough! And you're half Irken!"

</p><p>Doc stood, this time his legs able to hold his weight up. "<em>Exactly!</em>" he said. Never before had he looked so... <em>alive.</em> He was beaming, a gleam in his eye. He looked as though he'd been given everything he'd ever wanted. 

</p><p>His mood was contagious.

</p><p>Rex began bouncing on the balls of his feet, his antennae standing straight up, a wide smile of his own on his face. "Oh, this is tremendous," he said. "Bloody brilliant. <em>You</em> could make everything better for everyone! For the <em>entire galaxy!</em>" 

</p><p>Rex was dimly aware this change from Doc curling up in a ball and wallowing in his own self-loathing would have given him whiplash, if he was thinking straight. Evidently, neither of them were quite thinking anything through.

</p><p>In this moment, all that mattered was this single idea, which sounded like the most incredible idea in the entire galaxy. Ideas and thoughts weaved themselves together, though Rex would have admitted they were just hopes and dreams in disguise, were he in the right mindset to really think about it. 

</p><p>Or to think that Doc would probably make a terrible Tallest, based on what Rex knew of him so far. 

</p><p>Or to wonder why the mutt exactly wanted to become the Tallest of the Irken Empire in the first place.

</p><p>Or to wonder if hybrids could even challenge the Tallest.

</p><p>The only thought in his head was: <em>Oh man alive, if Doc was the Tallest, imagine how better everything would be for the whole universe.</em>

</p><p>But Piki didn't seem to share their opinion when they eventually brought it up to him. 

</p><p>They found him by the cockpit. The other Irken did appear to be shocked and surprised by the fact Doc was even smiling the way he was, but the second he heard their idea of him replacing the Tallest, a confused look crossed his features. 

</p><p>"Okay. Hwhat?" Piki said. "You want to... replace the Tallest?"

</p><p>"Yes!" Doc said. He still hadn't put the rest of his attire back on.

</p><p>"Really?"

</p><p>"That's right!"

</p><p>Piki shook his head. "Look, I don't really know about this," he said. "A hybrid Tallest. It's... unheard of. What if the reason why there hasn't been a hybrid Tallest is because it's not allowed?"

</p><p>"It technically doesn't say it's not allowed," Rex said hurriedly. "What if the reason is because no hybrid's ever tried? Half Irken's enough Irken, right? Plus, he's tall! It might work!"

</p><p>"Okay, but even then," Piki said. "Even if the Tallest accept, what happens to One? I'm not trying to sound offensive or anything, but One is... not in the greatest shape, s'all I'm saying. They're skinnier and shorter, and also! They can fly! He might lo — <em>die.</em> He might die." (They had talked about Doc's response to hearing <em>lose.</em> They had decided: never again.)

</p><p>"But what if he doesn't?" Rex said. "What if he lives, and they die?"

</p><p>"I'm sorry Rex, but I don't think waving about willy nilly isn't going to win anything," his lifemate said.

</p><p>"Okay, I am literally <em>right</em> here," Doc said. 

</p><p>Rex reached up to pat Doc's stomach. "We know you are, Doc," he said. "But please be quiet, the bugs are talking."

</p><p>He decided to ignore the mutt's scowl.

</p><p>"Either way, we can't exactly go over to <em>The Massive,</em>" Piki said. "One isn't that well liked... <em>anywhere,</em> and you and I are supposed to be dead. The only way is through transmission, and guess what! We don't have a trans..." He trailed off, watching a small arm in Rex's PAK gently place a black rectangular device in his hand and proudly holding it up. "...mitter?"

</p><p>------------------

</p><p>It was the same old song and dance — fly in a straight line, conquer and destroy. But it seemed that this was the part of the galaxy where there was barely anything to blow up.

</p><p>Which none of the Navigators aboard <em>The Massive</em> were exactly happy about.

</p><p>Navigator Mox was barely able to keep himself from smashing his head into the console. In recent years, the Navigators had found that if the Tallest were bored and they had nothing better to do, they would pick on one of them. Unfortunately for Mox, Red and Purple seemed to get a kick out of poking fun at him the most.

</p><p>He still hadn't forgotten the "wittle steering hands" thing.

</p><p>Of course, the two eventually decided to move onto Mox's neighbour, which he was admittedly grateful for. But he also felt bad, since now it was his neighbour's turn to have two overgrown nuisances grinding on their nerves. It wasn't exactly fun, to have two tall morons picking on them just because they were that — tall. No one was exactly allowed to call the Tallest out on anything... to their faces, anyway.

</p><p>Mox snapped to attention at the familiar sound of beeping. Well! Maybe there was a way to save his fellow Navigator's nerves after all!

</p><p>"<em>My Tallest!</em>" Mox said in his usual overly dramatic way. "There's an incoming transmission! From... Invader Smeck!" After a certain incident with an Invader (whose name Mox weirdly couldn't remember), the Tallest decided they absolutely had to know who was calling them before they answered the transmission.

</p><p>"Invader Smeck?" Purple echoed, looking to his fellow Tallest. "Who is that again?"

</p><p>"Uh... I think it's the guy we asked to chuck a pair of defects into a sun?" Red said, rubbing the side of his neck.

</p><p>"Oh, yeah! I remember that guy!" Purple said cheerfully. "I thought that guy was dead!"

</p><p>"So did I!" Red said. Oddly enough, both of them were smiling and talking as though this wasn't a weird topic of discussion.

</p><p>"Man, I was wondering what ever happened to Smeck," Purple said as the two hovered down to take their usual places at the front. "Send that transmission through! Maybe he can tell us what happened."

</p><p>Mox flicked his wrist, sending the transmission through to the big screen. Honestly, it was hard not to know who Invader Smeck was. He looked like a generic Irken, but people often said he was the second coming of Thoob. At least, that's what Mox heard.

</p><p>But when the transmission finally came through, it was evident that it wasn't Smeck. Whoever it was, he had a PAK on the back of his head and wore a red sweater underneath a brown jacket. Mox wasn't sure about the eyes, since he wore gold-rimmed goggles with blacked-out lenses.

</p><p>Mox's brow ridges raised as a realization set in. That was an Irken hybrid! Very rarely would an Irken ever choose to... uh, "breed" with an inferior race. This one was half Irken, half... <em>h-half...</em> huh. Mox couldn't remember. All he knew was that this other species started with an "H," and that was about it. 

</p><p>Mox was concerned. Out of his fellow Navigators, he had the best memory. So why couldn't he remember the name of an Invader, or what the hybrid's other half was?

</p><p><em>"—know what I'm doing,"</em> the hybrid grumbled, looking off screen. <em>"Stop giving me that look, this shouldn't be hard."</em>

</p><p><em>"Uh, One?"</em> a disembodied voice said. <em>"The transmission?"</em>

</p><p><em>"Huh?"</em> The hybrid turned his head, his eyes clearly widening underneath his goggles. <em>"Oh shit!"</em>

</p><p>"Ugh!" The first sound Red made when it become evident he had just processed what he was seeing, which was soon followed by the sound of his slooshie falling to the ground. "I think I'm going to throw up!" He yanked Purple's donut bag out of his hands and retched into it. Purple didn't even notice.

</p><p>"That's the most disgusting thing I've seen all day!" Purple cried. He turned back to the Navigators. "Can someone get me some bleach? I need bleach for my eyes!"

</p><p>The Navigator in front of Mox hopped out from behind his post, racing off into the depths of <em>The Massive</em> to presumably find bleach. "Thank you!" the purple Tallest called after him.

</p><p>The hybrid shook his head. <em>"Alright, okay,</em>" he said. <em>"All that...</em> that <em>aside, I hereby challenge the both of you for the right of the Tallest of the Irken Empire, blah blah blah cutting this short because I'm offended. From an unnamed source, I can gather that I'm very much taller than the both of you."</em>

</p><p>"But you're not Irken," Red said, his voice slightly hoarse.

</p><p><em>"I'm half Irken,</em> the hybrid countered. <em>"That's enough Irken."</em>

</p><p>"Oh, he's good," Red loudly whispered to Purple. "He's not wrong though. Half Irken <em>is</em> enough Irken to challenge us. Plus, look at him. There's no way he can win against us. It'll be a piece of cake."

</p><p>"You're right," Purple loudly whispered back. He raised his voice, both Tallest turning to address the hybrid on screen. "We accept your challenge, disgusting blob man!"

</p><p>There was some snickering off screen on the hybrid's end. The hybrid shot a glare at whoever was the source of the snickering, which was followed by <em>"sorry, sorry, thought of something funny"</em> from a different disembodied voice.

</p><p>"We expect to see you at the Arena in two days," Red said. "Not that you need it, but good luck. And may the best of the best win. Which is obviously us. Prepare to die, disgusting blob."

</p><p>A wicked grin crossed the hybrid's features. <em>"I could say the same to you, My Smallest,"</em> he said, which caused whoever had been snickering to burst out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. In turn, the hybrid's grin grew ever wider. <em>"See you there."</em> The screen flickered to white.

</p><p>Mox closed the transmission, dread filling his spooch. "Sirs, is this really a good idea?" he asked them. "What if you lose? What would happen to Operation Impending Doom III?" Mox hoped they would stop to think about what they were doing if he mentioned the third Operation Impending Doom, since he knew that they were rather attached to it, though he wasn't sure why.

</p><p>But he should have realized that as soon as the words were spoken, they wouldn't even bat an eye.

</p><p>"Man, what is it with this guy?" Purple asked Red. "You'd think he'd stop being so negative by now!"

</p><p>"Do you want us to shoot you out of an airlock?" Red asked Mox as though talking to a smeet. "We can shoot you out of an airlock. Don't test us."

</p><p>Mox furrowed his brow, but kept his mouth shut. He decided that this was officially the last time he tried knocking some sense into those two. If anything, he hoped the hybrid <em>did</em> win.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>WELCOME TO OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM III MOTHERFUCKERS-</p><p>Man oh man, I loved writing this chapter. Zib's idea most likely isn't going to end well for anyone, and Rex isn't exactly helping matters by telling him exactly everything he wants to hear, but this is most likely the happiest Zib's been in a long time. That being said, as much as I loved writing this chapter, this isn't my favorite. Oh no, that's up ahead. (also zib really needs help, his roach chub intensified-) </p><p>"I'm going to go upstairs and blow it up. And I might [?] die in the process, but don't worry about me, no. You go on, go on, go have your lovely beans on toast. I'm the Doctor, by the way. What's your name? Nice to meet you, Rose. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE."</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. The Calm Before</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's sad that the calm doesn't last long.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>The Void Cruiser</em> gently hummed to itself, the silence unbroken by words.

</p>
<p>"Okay," Zib eventually said once he processed everything, leaning forward and folding his hands together. "So if I don't win, I die. But that means to win, I have to kill."

</p>
<p>"Yes," Piki said. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor, absently tapping a claw against it. "It's the only way to make sure they don't get taller and come back to challenge you. It's an asserting dominance kind of thing. Make it good, and the Irken Empire will love you until the day you die."

</p>
<p>Zib went quiet again. This had been the topic of discussion for the last half hour: what to expect when he finally had to go and fight the Tallest. He'd almost been afraid that if they spoke about it, he'd be discouraged and change his mind. But he didn't want to go back to that hell of curling up under the nest and just... doing nothing. He'd made that mistake twice now. If he went through that a third time, he was afraid he'd never get up again. 

</p>
<p>The good thing about this was that if he happened to lose, there would be no curling up and feeling terrible about everything. It was dark and definitely not a thought he'd have twenty-five years ago, when he'd been too short to even consider becoming the Tallest an idea, but it was the truth. And what he could he say? Sometimes the truth hurt. 

</p>
<p>"Eh," he said. "That's just a little side effect." Now <em>that</em> was something he definitely would have said twenty-five years ago. Once he realized that, he peeled that thought off his brain like rolling up a sticky ball of webs. Speaking of which, he imagined taking that ball and throwing it into a sun. 

</p>
<p>"That's not a... nevermind," Piki said. "Any other questions?"

</p>
<p>He did still have one (two, but that other one wasn't strictly about challenging the Tallest). "What's the arena?"

</p>
<p>"<em>The</em> Arena," Rex said from his spot beside Piki. He was using an ominous tone of voice, as though he thought it added atmosphere. "Capital 'A', <em>very</em> formal. 'The Big Spooky Arena Planet of Doom and Death', but people just call it the Arena because it's easier. It's where Irkens go to watch other Irkens fight each other for entertainment. Unless it's a challenge, there's normally no death involved. It's really... red."

</p>
<p>Huh. It was essentially the Arena back in the Zimvoid, just different. Okay then. This was fine.

</p>
<p>"I know I've told you this already, but to reiterate: the current Tallest do kind of make the rules for how the battle's going to go," Piki said. "Weapons, one-on-one combat, if PAK weapons are allowed, that sort of thing. I'm just going off what I know here, but to put it bluntly: Red and Purple are idiots. They obviously think they're going to win, so they might just throw in the towel and decide they're not going to need anything fancy. They probably just assume they can tire you out and stab you in the back, and that'll be it."

</p>
<p>Zib's lips curled up in a bitter smile. "Can't do that unless I do it first," he said. 

</p>
<p>Silence. Piki looked to Rex, who merely shrugged. 

</p>
<p>Zib leaned back in his seat, rubbing his forehead. Irkens. Still had terrible senses of humor.

</p>
<p>"Anyway," Piki eventually said. "We don't know how long it's been since Red and Purple last fought anything, and your fighting technique consists of flailing and hoping you hit the target. As far as we know, this is going to be the galaxy's biggest wreck. In one corner, two idiots with a donut for a brain between them. In the other, some hybrid who looks like he just waddled in expecting an eating contest. He wins by falling on them and breaking their spines."

</p>
<p>Zib narrowed his eye. "You better be joking," he said. "Because if you're not, you've just given me a terrible idea."

</p>
<p>Piki huffed an I'm-starting-to-lose-my-patience sigh. "Yes, One. I'm joking." 

</p>
<p>The only response to that he could think of was "Good." Which was followed by yet another long and awkward pause.

</p>
<p>"So," Rex eventually started, tapping his claws against the floor. "Is that it, or... do you have more questions?"

</p>
<p>For whatever reason, Zib had an urge to say no. That he didn't have any other questions. In fact, he almost said so without thinking. An instinct, perhaps. Yet he knew he'd never let himself down for this if he didn't at least ask.

</p>
<p>"Just one. It's completely unrelated, but...." Zib leaned forward in his chair, folding his hands together again. "Whatever happened to Zim?"

</p>
<p>The two Irkens blinked. "...Zim?" Rex said, exchanging a confused look with Piki.

</p>
<p>"Zim." Nothing. "Invader Zim?" No recognition. "He screams a lot. His laugh goes from evil to being murdered? Occasionally speaks in third person? Highly egotistical? Chrissakes, do you even know who I'm talking about?" Perhaps Zim wasn't that widely known in this universe.

</p>
<p>"Are you okay? Generally?" Piki asked.

</p>
<p>"Wha — YES," Zib said. "I'm fine!"

</p>
<p>Piki pursed his lips, not looking convinced. He stood, raised himself up on his biomechanical legs and, taking one of his gloves off, placed a hand on Zib's forehead. Out of shock more than anything, Zib pulled his head back and leaned as far away from Piki's hands as he possibly could.

</p>
<p>"I don't think this is a good idea," Piki said to Rex. "I had my doubts before, but now I <em>really</em> don't think this is a good idea."

</p>
<p>"What the hell are you going on about?" He'd already come to terms with everything, so he couldn't turn back now. They weren't deciding they should call the whole thing off, were they? Just because he mentioned Zim? Good shit, the Invader wasn't even here, and he was still continuing to ruin his life!

</p>
<p>Piki looked back to Zib, discomfort on his face. "One, I'm sorry to say but... there's no Zim," he said. "There's never been a Zim. Whoever this Invader Zim you're talking about is... he most likely doesn't exist, and has never existed in the first place."

</p>
<p>------------------

</p>
<p>One looked dumbfounded. "You're joking."

</p>
<p>"'Fraid not," Piki told him. "Zim isn't a name that's ever been in the databases, far as I can tell. Even if it is, there's no mention of an Invader Zim. Or anyone called Zim. Not even as far back as three hundred years ago."

</p>
<p>The Doctor's face darkened. "Excuse me for a second," he said. He proceeded to stand up, pick up the chair he'd been sitting on for the past half hour, lift it over his head, and then threw it against the ground, where it broke into a zillion little pieces. "<em>BULL FUCKING HORSESHIT!</em>"

</p>
<p>To top it all off, One began screaming obscenities in Irken, mostly at the broken chair, whoever was in control over the Irken Databases, and some guy called "Two."

</p>
<p>Piki lowered himself to the floor, wringing his hands together. Invader Zim. He felt like he should know this name, but he wasn't sure <em>why.</em> It did sound like an Irken name, but it wasn't one that appeared anywhere in the Irken Databases, not even as a mention in a footnote. The name would have stuck out like a broken claw if Piki had seen or heard it before. It hadn't, but now that he'd seen One getting so worked up about it, Piki was pretty sure that if he heard the name again in the future, it'd stick out to him.

</p>
<p>Piki wasn't sure about Two, though. Maybe One's parents had a weird obsession with naming their children after numbers? Could this Two person be One's brother? If so, where was he? Did Zim have something to do with whatever happened to him?

</p>
<p>For whatever reason, Piki had a strange feeling his theory was nowhere near the truth.

</p>
<p>After a minute, the hybrid did eventually calm down. One pushed his goggles up to his forehead, his remaining eye squeezed shut. He pinched the spot between his eyes, his brow furrowed as though he had a headache of sorts coming on. "Shouldn't have asked," he muttered to himself. "Fucking... <em>rrrrgggh.</em> Now I've broken a chair and..." His voice dropped to a whisper, trailing his hand down his face. "...<em>motherfucker.</em>" 

</p>
<p>Seemingly remembering he wasn't alone, One pointed down at the two Irkens and said: "That never happened."

</p>
<p>"What never happened?" Rex said, then very obviously winked.

</p>
<p>"Don't...." The Doctor sighed in frustration. "<em>Irkens.</em>" 

</p>
<p>Rex and Piki soon voiced questions and concerns of their own — would he even be ready in two days time, what was he planning for the Empire (to make it better), did he think <em>he</em> was ready? One didn't answer any of these questions, although Piki was pretty sure the answer to the last one was "Yes." As usual (and as they were expecting), the Doctor disappeared somewhere in the ship. 

</p>
<p>He did occasionally reappear throughout the day, although not as long or as much as they would have liked him to. He wasn't angry or anything when they spoke to him, but his only response was a grunt before disappearing again. It was probably just to reassure them he was okay? Piki wasn't sure. He didn't feel terribly relaxed, still having a few doubts (although his doubts that One wouldn't be able to hold his own had been squashed at this point). 

</p>
<p>In the meantime, Rex tried to brighten his spirits by reminiscing about the "good ol' days." Piki, though stressed out and tired from receiving Spoochstakaminz at later times than usual, did eventually start feeling a tiny bit better. But his mood lifted considerably at the mention of Pocko. Pocko was a SIR with eyes matched Piki's, which was the main reason he called him "Pocko," though he'd had to add a "C" because people kept pronouncing his name wrong (Rex's SIR Wheats had bright stratosphere blue eyes, and therefore had no reason to have a matching name). 

</p>
<p>Both of their little robots had been as cold as the next unit at the start. Yet from hanging around them, Piki had noticed that Pocko and Wheats seemed to have distinct personality traits that marked them as their own person. Wheats was scatterbrained and didn't do what he was told properly. Pocko was terribly blunt yet ever the optimist. Rex brought up the time Wheats didn't realize he could just take off the object that had been over his head at the time (neither of them could remember what it was), and Pocko had chased him around trying to get it off. Both had crashed into a wall, Wheats unable to see where he was going and Pocko way too focused on what he was doing to really pay attention.

</p>
<p>That part always cracked them up. Piki started laughing first, Rex joining in and showing mild concern when he started laughing so hard that he was coughing. But since Piki wasn't coughing up blood, neither of them felt the need to be worried. Yet.

</p>
<p>Of course, when they recovered from their fit of laughter, the memory only served to remind them that their SIRs weren't here. Piki had the feeling that the Tallest had decided to wipe their memory drives and give them to other Irkens, or had someone melt them down to be used for... something else. Or even just decommissioned. Rex countered that they might just be deactivated somewhere, but Piki decided not to get his hopes up. 

</p>
<p>Hope is the last to die, after all.

</p>
<p>Dark, but it was true. All but for Rex, whose hopes never seemed to die at all. He was always focused on the "what if," never the "what if it doesn't." Piki still had yet to see his lifemate in a state where he was completely giving up all hope for anything. He'd nearly seen that when they were being carted off to be chucked into a sun. It was tiring that they were constantly bringing it up, but that was the one point in time where Rex had almost been hopeless instead of hopeful. Piki had felt as though he had phased into another universe where everything had been flipped upside down — Rex was a pessimist, Red and Purple had each other's voices, One was thin, etc.

</p>
<p>And yes, Rex had been extraordinarily quiet when he had killed another Irken, but Piki was almost grateful that he had. If it meant he got to be with his lifemate a little while longer, he didn't mind what they would have to do. Bloop, Piki himself would cut his own tongue out and feed it to whatever horrible space creature liked eating tongues it if that was the only way to stay with Rex. 

</p>
<p>Towards the end of the day, Piki caught One in the kitchen. At first, from the small pile of food out on the table, he was worried One had fallen back into the state he had been eariler that day, but his worries were (mostly though not completely) tossed to the side as soon as he realized that One was carefully picking out items of food from the fridge, either muttering a "no" before putting it back in, or simply setting it down on the table.

</p>
<p>The Doctor looked to a pair of starmots (a rich-purple fruit with little white dots on it that looked like stars) sitting on the counter beside the fridge. He took both and held each out in his hands. The starmot in his left had a slightly crinkled skin. After a moment of indecision, One took an enormous bite out of that one, purple juice dripping to the floor.

</p>
<p>With his mouth full, he simply said "yesh" and placed the other uneaten starmot on the table. 

</p>
<p>Done with the fridge, the Doctor closed the door and looked through one of the cabinets nearby the sink, polishing off the last of the starmot in his hand. Piki actually felt a little sad when he saw One taking out a can; from what he could gather, this was where he kept the soups and things (they could have made him soup, sad face). One looked down at the label with a little "oh" and proceeded to look between the can and the remaining starmot, as though deciding which he absolutely had to keep.

</p>
<p>"Fuck it," he eventually growled, before unceremoniously dumping the can of starmot slices on the table. Soon after, he took out two more cans and carefully put them beside the first. Schpindey beans and starmot paste.

</p>
<p>It didn't really hit Piki what he was doing until One took a pot out, (though he apparently decided he didn't like it so he got a slightly smaller one instead). The items on the table suddenly made a lot more sense; they were ingredients.

</p>
<p>One was cooking.

</p>
<p>Piki did try watching the hybrid cook. And although he and Rex technically didn't need to eat anymore, Piki eventually had to leave the kitchen if he wanted to eat whatever it was One was creating, should he actually be making some of it to share. After that display with the starmot, Piki had the feeling One really didn't care what he was doing when he was cooking, because he'd only ever had to cook for himself. Ignorance is bliss.

</p>
<p>One eventually brought out a pair of bowls for Rex and Piki. The smell coming off of them was slightly different than the one they had been smelling whilst the hybrid cooked, though Piki couldn't place his claw on why. It turned out the Doctor had created a starmot chilli. Rex cautiously ate a small spoonful first... then immediately lit up, staring down at the bowl like that had been the best thing he'd ever tasted in his entire one hundred years of life. 

</p>
<p>Piki knew for a fact that any sort of starmot chilli wasn't supposed to be sweet. Apparently, One had taken in the fact that Irkens <em>loved</em> sweets more than anything and added something into their bowls to make it sweeter. It wasn't disgustingly sweet either, like the Doctor had shrugged and dumped an entire bag of sugar into the pot. Piki didn't know how to describe it, but somehow One made it work. 

</p>
<p>It was delicious.

</p>
<p>Something One must not have been expecting to hear, because he had to leave the room to hide the fact he was blushing. 

</p>
<p>The next day wasn't any eventful, and wasn't worth noting. One was apparently choosing the day before his fight with the Tallest as a "take it easy" sort of day; he didn't really do anything except sleep. Any time either Piki or Rex woke him up, the hybrid went back to sleep five minutes or less after that. They did eventually take the hint that One was "TRYING TO SLEEP HERE, EXCUSE ME." And for the rest of the day... almost nothing happened. How uneventful. Not noteworthy at all.

</p>
<p>Then came the day where One had to go off to fight the Tallest. Unlike the past two days, his nerves appeared to be thoroughly shot; he yelled and cursed at everything that moved. Which was apparently when he was the most prone to dropping quotable quotes. The most memorable of said quotes seemed to be:

</p>
<p>"I KNOW WHERE THE ARENA IS STOP PUTTING THE COORDINATES IN—"

</p>
<p>"Did you forget where my missing eye is? I can see you over there!"

</p>
<p>"SO <em>WHAT</em> IF YOUR PAK CAN ACCURATELY TELL YOU HOW MUCH SOMETHING WEIGHS I DON'T WANT TO HEAR HOW FAT I AM."

</p>
<p>"I hate this universe and everything in it."

</p>
<p>By the time the Arena was three hours away, One looked like he was about to snap. Which he might have, if Rex and Piki hadn't have worn themselves out from worrying over... well, everything. Both found the nearest corner and collapsed, since out of nowhere it looked like the most perfect place to take a nap. Although the hybrid never owned up to it when asked, the pair would later wake up to find he'd placed a blanket over top of them.

</p>
<p>------------------

</p>
<p>This, if he had to be honest, was probably the worst thing he'd ever gone through.

</p>
<p>His progress, ruined. His work and inventions, gone. His timeline, plunged in darkness. What tech that was left could barely function on their own; his computer sounded like it was about to give out. He wouldn't be surprised if it did one of these days. 

</p>
<p>And then there was himself. No one was coming back. His alternate had most likely forgotten about him at this point. And besides, he didn't expect his alternate to come back for him. If their roles were swapped, he was pretty sure he'd just leave his alternate here to rot, too. Besides, why would you save someone who had almost destroyed your universe?

</p>
<p>To call himself "Dib" didn't feel right anymore.

</p>
<p>Forcing himself to stand up despite a lack of reason to (wincing at the cracks of his stiff joints), he made one thing clear to himself. He wasn't named Dib anymore. It wasn't a nickname for a longer name or anything. He was... God forbid he never would have considered to label himself as such in the past, but he was Zib. Despite the fact it sounded like someone had mashed the names "Zim" and "Dib" together (and how it only served to remind him he'd essentially became Zim), it just seemed to make sense.

</p>
<p>After all, it was only fitting that a merger of Zim and Dib would have a name that reflected that.

</p>
<p>Dib — <em>the name is Zib</em> — paused at that thought. <em>Merger.</em> It... there was some sense to the word. He did have Irken features, and now that he was really thinking about it, he guess he had been showing... some Zim traits. But that was probably about it, right? There couldn't be much more than that.

</p>
<p>The words "useless human" came back to him, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

</p>
<p>He knew that couldn't have been the Dib part of him. That had most definitely been the... other half. His Zim half, he supposed. What else had been Zim? Dib — <em>THAT'S THE WRONG NAME YOU FOOL</em> — decided now wasn't the time to think about that. In truth, if he kept thinking about what came from his Dib half and what came from his Zim half, he'd probably have an identity crisis. As if one wasn't forming already from just choosing to accept the name "Zib."

</p>
<p>Something else came to his attention. PAKs had a glow to them, to his knowledge. But for the past few days, his had just... stopped. Like some light in it had went out when his timeline had been engulfed in darkness. Dib — <em>omigod just use the name you idiot it's not that hard</em> — couldn't remember when it had gone out, but it had abruptly gone dark. Like the remains of his timeline. It was as though that it had just accepted that with no way out, there was nothing <em>to</em> conquer. No reason to do anything of use.

</p>
<p>Could PAKs feel hopelessness?

</p>
<p>...now that was a stupid thought if he ever had one.

</p>
<p>Based on what he knew, PAKs were cold and unfeeling machines attached to an organic host — mainly Irkens, since they were only compatible with them. He'd had countless theories as to how he could have survived, but all he could have come down to was that it had been a complete fluke. A once in a blue moon sort of deal. In all his time with it fused to the back of his head, Dib — <em>hhnnnnngh why</em> — had never once seen the PAK show any sort of emotion towards him. None except for robotic confusion over something he said. It showed no real sentience, but he was supposed it was better to have a cold machine attached to his head rather than an incompetent English robot spewing bad ideas all over his brain like no tomorrow.

</p>
<p>Irkens were tough on their own, but PAKs kept them alive through most conditions that could kill a human (except for excruciatingly cold weather apparently. Compared to a human, an Irken would freeze to death twice as fast). They seemed to be bigger on the inside, dealing with most things their host couldn't, although Earthen food and water wasn't something they appeared to be programmed to know how to deal with on their own. Either way, there was a price to having a PAK: you couldn't part with it for longer than ten minutes, or else you would die. The question was now if Dib — <em>ghhhhhhggggggnngghhh....</em> — relied on his PAK or not.

</p>
<p>That was a theory Zib — <em>haHAHA I DID IT YES </em> — would test if he could. The only way he could remove his PAK that was to cut the thick veins connecting it to his head, but slicing all four of them to do so wasn't something he exactly wanted to do. But only because he didn't know what could happen, and admittedly? He was afraid to find out. Really, he didn't want to find out that because it was attached to his head instead of his back, it had become slightly more... organic.

</p>
<p>He just didn't want to find out his PAK could bleed. Okay? Okay. Cool.

</p>
<p>Zib sat down on the ground, idly wondering what would happen to him if his PAK never came back online or whatever. Would it eventually stop keeping him alive? Would he slowly dry out, parts of his mind shutting down one by one until... nothing? Or would it stay functional, but all it did was keep him alive without giving him anything he needed to keep his strength up? What would happen then?

</p>
<p>Zib pushed that away before his mind could come up with a scenario for the question. He didn't want to think about what could happen, based on his previous thoughts. Really, could he escape that thought forever? He had essentially eternity to think. Well... maybe it wasn't essentially, but that's probably what it would feel like unless he somehow formed a plan to get out of this... death trap.

</p>
<p>Oh, there was no doubt in his mind he was completely trapped here until the end of his days, should he still even be capable of death. What was he even thinking? Of course he was capable of dying, PAK or no. He'd killed his Zim, hadn't he? He'd managed to kill him in cold blood to show his corpse off to the world on Peace Day, completely disrupting his father's keynote, supposed to be held a day prior but had been delayed for reasons that Zib couldn't remember through the whole mania of... y'know, killing someone.

</p>
<p>All that remained of the Invader now was his PAK, which seemed to have grown heavier now that thought had crossed his mind. 

</p>
<p>What a (pardon his language) shitty way to end up, huh? For your nemesis — someone of whom you had always called inferior to your kind — to strangle you when you had your guard down? Of whom would show your corpse off to the planet you were supposed to conquer, only for said planet to look over the fact of what you are? That you're not one of them? 

</p>
<p>From a world unlike their own yet similar in ways you couldn't explain?

</p>
<p>Zib shook his head, quickly trying to avoid thinking about the similarities between Irk and Earth. It was in vain, of course; he knew that either way, he was going to think about and compare the two planets. 

</p>
<p>Irk's society worked off of heights; the taller you were, the higher your rank. On Earth, if you were tall, people just looked up at you and thought "Oh my God that guy's tall." Irkens tended to invade planets to expand their Empire and create more colonies. Earth was just a little backwater planet... one that the Empire had apparently shown an interest in, though Zib couldn't see why now that he was thinking about it.

</p>
<p>What did the Irken Empire need Earth for? The tech Earth had compared to the tech Irk had was basically a crudely made potato battery pitted against... well, something much more advanced and impressive than a potato battery. Earth was probably a disposable planet to the Irken Empire; the Tallest had probably thought that Earth served no real purposes, since it was so useless that it was hard to fathom why it was even still here.

</p>
<p><em>No one needs this horrible little planet. It's just here, being completely useless. Hey, here's an idea. Why don't we send an Invader so we can conquer and destroy it? Unless someone were to, oh, I don't know... single-handedly save that miserable little planet, but I don't know why anyone would do that. I mean, look at this planet. It's disgusting.</em>

</p>
<p>Zib laid back down on the ground with a heavy sigh, his arms flopped out on either side of him. He'd tried to save his Earth, and guess what happened? He not only destroyed his Earth, but the entirety of his reality as well. What a hero he was. Yeah... fuse your mortal enemy's PAK to the back of your head and use his resources to take your own planet over, what a great idea! Oh, here's another great idea — why don't you build an ultimate failing weapon? It'll fail so badly that literally everyone except for you will die! Sounds terrific, doesn't it?

</p>
<p><em>When you fail, you end up alone.</em> 

</p>
<p>He failed twice now. And now? He was alone... again. Unless he were to magically get out of his timeline, but how would he even manage to do that? He barely had any functional tech, and most of what was actually functional was basically held together with duct tape! And the zapper—

</p>
<p>Wait. The zapper. 

</p>
<p>Zib forced himself up to his feet, turning back to the red screen behind him that still showed his timeline in ruins. The zapper did appear to have some strange dimensional abilities. If he could find whatever had given it that power... he'd be able to create a portal device.

</p>
<p>For the first time in weeks, hope filled his entire being from head to toe. He felt energized, as though he could do anything; his heart picked up the pace, a large smile practically splitting his face in half. He began to bounce on the balls of his feet as his plan weaved itself together. That zapper was the key to escaping his timeline! It had <em>always</em> been the key, even now!

</p>
<p>But there was one eensy weensy problem. It completely pitch black and extremely cold outside; even inside the tower, he could see his breath in the reddened light of the screen before him.

</p>
<p>Zib shook his head. So what? He was getting out of here. No matter the cost.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>"The plot, like my gravy, thickens." </p><p>Yeah, some crazy shit's going on here alright. Zim? Doesn't exist? Could it be Zib has ended up in the one timeline without a Zim? Or, based off the previous chapter as well as this one, could it be that <em>[error]</em>? Guess we'll just have to find out which it is, won't we?</p><p>And remember when I said Zib has violent ways of dealing with his emotions? I wasn't kidding.</p><p>(Fun fact: That little "flashback" was originally at the end of "Change of Plan!" I moved it into this chapter because it wasn't as long as the others. And yes, I have named chapters after other fanfictions in the past, how are you doing?)</p><p>(Wholesome fact: the chilli Zib made in this chapter is actually based off my mother's, just without the actual tomato and the added sweetness for the Irkens. Wanted to write him making soup, went with Mom's chilli.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Battle of the Tallest</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Zib thinks he has changed, but has he really? The truth is in the cards, so he'll just have to make his own. (Also... do I hear boss music?)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <strong>!~ POTENTIAL WARNING — blood and death occurs in this chapter so that's cool i guess ~!<strong></strong></strong>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The pink sand glistened under the artificial lights. 

</p>
<p>Excitement was buzzing in the air as Irkens of all heights chattered amongst themselves in the stands, as though they were no taller nor shorter than each other for this occasion only. Even if some were worried and anxious about what this meant for the Empire, the buzzing energy of the Arena seemed to keep those worries at bay. After all, most Irkens had never seen this kind of fight before, so it was a new and interesting experience.

</p>
<p>It wouldn't be so exciting for the current Tallest. Their first challenge (since the Tallest before them had faced a rather unfortunate accident and they had just come to power that way), and they were up against the mutt they had only seen through transmission. That meant this would be the first time an Irken hybrid challenged the Tallest in the Arena. 

</p>
<p>But that wasn't what they were worried about.

</p>
<p>"Okay, what if we lose?" Purple asked. The other Tallest wrung his hands, anxiously "pacing" in front of the side entrance to the Arena. "What if we lose, and that thing becomes the new Tallest?"

</p>
<p>"We won't," Red assured him. "Whatever he throws at us, we'll handle it."

</p>
<p>Purple stopped pacing, turning to look at him. "And if we can't?" 

</p>
<p>"Don't be so negative. No one would ever want some mutt as their Tallest," Red said, only hoping that was true. "If we lose and that thing wins, surely someone will put a real Irken in charge."

</p>
<p>"Okay, if that thing does win," Purple said, "I just want to say. It was an honor to be Tallest along side of you."

</p>
<p>"Where'd that come from?" Red asked. 

</p>
<p>Purple shrugged. "I don't know, I just thought it sounded cool."

</p>
<p>Red flashed him a smile, resting a hand on his cheek. "For what it's worth, I think no one can make that sound cooler than you can."

</p>
<p>A small smile of his own appeared on Purple's face as he leaned into the touch, placing a hand over Red's, his violet eyes practically sparkling. Before the moment could get any deeper than that, the voice of the announcer Irken suddenly boomed through the entire Arena. 

</p>
<p>"Tallers and Smallers! Are you ready for the fight of the century?" 

</p>
<p>At that, there were the sounds of practically over a thousand Irkens cheering. 

</p>
<p>"That's right! This is no ordinary fight!" the announcer went on. "Today's battle will end in blood and death! BUT the question is — which of our contestants will die, and who will live? I guess we'll just have to find out, won't we?

</p>
<p>"First, you know them well! It's the ALMIGHTY TALLEST!"

</p>
<p>"Well, <em>that's</em> the weakest intro I've ever heard," Purple muttered as they hovered out into the Arena, waving at the cheering crowd. 

</p>
<p>"And we have something no one's ever seen before!" the announcer continued. "The first Irken hybrid to ever challenge not only one, but two Tallests at once! Hope he's got a lot of fight in him to make this interesting, prepare to meet the horrible, the terrible, THE <em>ONLYYYYYYYYY</em> DOCTOR ONE!"

</p>
<p>There was a low growl at the other side of the Arena. The mutt lumbered out, saliva dripping from his maw onto the pink sand, clenching his fists. Red was sure he was imagining things, but it seemed as though the cheering for the hybrid was louder than it had been for him and Purple. 

</p>
<p>"Tallers and Smallers, Irkens of all heights! Get ready for the fight of the century!"

</p>
<p>While the announcer was still speaking, One had suddenly went rigid and stood up straight. With an assessing tilt of his head, the mutt abruptly lurched into action, charging towards them. It was almost as though he'd went from "insane feral beast" to "cold unfeeling killer."

</p>
<p>Red gave a yelp, and with a dizzying lurch, he shot to the sky. It took him a minute to realize his artificial wings had activated. Once he got his bearings, he looked down to the Arena. He saw Purple's tinted wings shoot out of his own PAK a second later. His fellow Tallest went to soar up into the sky, but One managed to leap up and wrap his arms around Purple's hoverstrat. Heavier and taller, the mutt's weight began to pull the screaming Tallest back to the ground. Purple's wings were flapping desperately to try and keep them both aloft. 

</p>
<p>What happened next seemed to happen in slow motion.

</p>
<p>Two biomechanical legs erupted from the PAK on the back of One's head, stabbing through the back of Purple's head and out through his mouth. A third leg plunged itself in to his PAK. The other Tallest's voice cut out as his wings disengaged, the light in his eyes gone. The two fell like a rock to the pink sand. 

</p>
<p>Red stared down at his fellow Tallest's corpse in disbelief. One hadn't even given Purple a chance to fight back. And these people were cheering for that? <em>His</em> people. Fellow Irkens... cheering for a hybrid who hadn't shown one of their own mercy?

</p>
<p>An anger he hadn't felt before began to course through his veins. If One hadn't shown Purple mercy... then Red wouldn't show One mercy, either. An eye for an eye, as the saying went.

</p>
<p>Screaming in rage, Red plowed down to the ground as One got to his feet. Red repeatedly slashed at the hybrid's face before he shot back up into the sky. Looping back through the air, Red swooped down and wrapped his arms around the mutt's torso, slamming him into the red walls of the stadium before taking off into the sky again. He kept his attacks relentless, making sure there would be no breaks. Red was sure at this point that, even though he would be the only one to come out of this alive, he would win.

</p>
<p>He had to. For Purple.

</p>
<p>But One seemed to figure out a flaw in his attacks. Around the twentieth time Red dove to slam the hybrid into the wall, One managed to jump out of the way. Instead of slamming One into the stadium wall, Red flew face first into the wall and laid there on the pink sand, stunned. 

</p>
<p>Red shook off his daze and tried to take to the sky again. But this time, One leapt up and held onto his hoverstrat. To his terror, Red felt himself being dragged back down to the ground... the same way Purple had been. A scream shredded through his throat as the mutt began pulling at one of his lower artificial wings, which turned into a high-pitched shriek that echoed through the entire Arena as the wing was pulled off. Red barely noticed One losing his grip on his hoverstrat and falling to the sand again with a heavy thud.

</p>
<p><em>'WARNING!'</em> the voice of Red's PAK blared through his head. <em>'Wing is missing! Unable to balance properly!'</em>

</p>
<p>Well. Shit.

</p>
<p>Red crashed to the ground, his wings retreating into the depths of his PAK. He forced himself to roll over, laying awkwardly on his back to stare up at the hybrid as he limped over. At some point, his goggles had either been knocked or sliced off, he couldn't remember exactly which it was; an unsual but horrible brown eye stared down at Red. There was barely any emotion to it, wide and unfeeling.

</p>
<p>The mutt leaned close, two biomechanical legs dripping with dark magenta blood as they slid out. Red's hands shot out, a hand against One's face and on his shoulder, pushing back as hard as he could. A desperate attempt of survival. One hissed, which was all the warning Red had before one of his metallic legs plunged into his chestplate, piercing his spooch. As his arms wobbled and inevitably gave out, Red stared up at One with pinkish tears burning in his eyes.

</p>
<p>"Why?" he forced out. "Why are you doing this?"

</p>
<p>"This is for every Irken you ever wronged," the mutt said. His voice was eeriely blank; it didn't fit the situation. "For every Irken you would have wronged! FOR THE PEOPLE OF IRK! FOR THE EMPIRE!"

</p>
<p>At this point, he was shouting. There was an echo of "for the Empire!" from the Irkens watching. The mutt's head jerked, and he blinked up into the crowd as though something cold had been poured over his head, almost like he hadn't expected to hear that. To be honest, Red wasn't expecting his own people to be so influenced by this pot-bellied mutt bastard already.

</p>
<p>Shaking off his daze, One leaned down to Red. His voice was lost to the cheering, but Red could hear him with perfect clarity, as though he had been meant to hear this sentence ever since the day he had been hatched.

</p>
<p>"This is for Zim," One said.

</p>
<p>Red's eyes widened before he saw the gleam of silver metal out of the corner of his eye, and his entire world went dark.

</p>
<p>------------------

</p>
<p>Zib stood up from the red Tallest's corpse. The crowd had went totally silent, but their cheers were back, louder than before. They were <em>cheering.</em> Cheering for <em>him.</em> Irken or not, these cheers were for him and it felt... <em>amazing.</em>

</p>
<p>Zib lifted his arms, feeling as though he was made of light. A large smile crossed his features as the cheering only got louder. This was what he'd craved his entire life. This moment of people cheering for him, loving him. If he closed his eyes, he could pretend he was back on Earth way back when, how he'd felt things should have went when he'd presented his Zim's corpse to the world.

</p>
<p>But this feeling completely dropped away as he looked back down to Red's corpse, his stomach lurching. Back in the Zimvoid, he'd forced Zims to fight each other to rule the most dangerous ones out. This was different.

</p>
<p>He'd fought the Tallest in a bloody fight to the death. Now, their magenta blood soaked into the pink sand, beginning to dry up and cake on his face as well as on his PAK legs. Irkens were cheering, though it felt like they were cheering too loudly. It felt like the light was burning his remaining eye. The scent of blood was thick in the air, and he felt sick. It felt like he'd been walking around with a rose-tinted filter over everything his entire life, and that filter had recently been removed.

</p>
<p>"There you have it!" the announcer said. "Your new Almighty Tallest, the first hybrid ever to become Tallest! <em>Taaaaaaalleeeeeeest Oooooone!</em>"

</p>
<p>Zib stared up into the crowd as they chanted "Tallest One" over and over again. This felt wrong, as though a thick black sludge had been poured into his stomach. This wasn't right. He couldn't believe he'd been so eager to kill Red and Purple.

</p>
<p>Everything went by in a seemingly endless blur, blending together incoherently. It took his mind seemingly hours before it finally caught up with the situation, snapping to attention as someone waved a hand in front of his face. He recoiled as soon as he realized a pair of sapphire blue eyes behind goggles was staring back at him.

</p>
<p>An Irken he could already tell came up to his stomach wearing a labcoat that matched his eyes stood before him, smiling. "Ah, there you are," the Irken said. "It's about time, My Tallest! Almost thought you blinked out on us for a second." 

</p>
<p>With a palette that could only be described as "bluescale," the room was fairly different to the pale pink of the Arena's sand and the red of the stadium's walls. Zib found he liked whatever or wherever this room was. Honestly, as long as he never saw the Arena ever again, he would be happy for the rest of his days.

</p>
<p>Zib himself was sitting up on a table, which he had to have been brought soon after his battle with the Tallest. Well, <em>ex</em>-Tallest if he had to be more accurate. Zib decided that was the most horrible, most unfunny joke he had ever made.

</p>
<p>The wounds Red had given him had been tended to, and it was almost as though they had never been there (the miracles of Irken medicine, he supposed). The blood had been cleaned off his face, or had he cleaned his face off? He couldn't remember who had done what. Hell, he could barely remember how he got here!

</p>
<p>"Out of inspiring words there, My Tallest?" the Irken asked. "A shame. After that lovely fight, I was looking forward to hearing some!"

</p>
<p>"Who... who are you?" Zib's voice was weak.

</p>
<p>The Irken blinked. "Well, aren't you different!" he said. "Should have expected that, honestly. You are only <em>half</em> Irken." He scratched the side of his neck. "Advisor Lupones, sir. I'm... sort of in charge of preparing you to become the Tallest, you could say." 

</p>
<p>"Hmm." Zib wasn't sure <em>what</em> to say.

</p>
<p>"You were a doctor at one point, eh?" Lupones asked. "I know it's not my place to ask, but what kind of doctor were you, My Tallest?"

</p>
<p>Zib bit his lip. He'd honestly never met someone who hadn't recognized the name "Doctor One" before now; if Lupones did, he wouldn't have been asking about it. Sure, using the name helped his paranoia from rearing its ugly head, but the name was at least recognizable. In fact, he remembered quite a lot of people going "WAIT, you're THAT guy?" any time he introduced himself as such. He didn't doubt most of these Irkens had recognized the name, but it wasn't the sort of name you'd cheer for. It was more of the name you get ready to kick in the face if you heard it, or at least decide "I don't like you, but I can suffer tolerating you just this once."

</p>
<p>He was pretty sure the only reason they'd been cheering was because of the thrill of witnessing fights like these. The thought made him feel sick.

</p>
<p>"Oh, would you look at that!" the Irken abruptly said, lighting up like a Christmas tree. Zib heard him hop up onto the table behind him, taking his head in both hands and pushing it forward. Zib indignantly squawked. "This is most interesting! I've never seen anything like this before!"

</p>
<p>"What is it?" Zib snapped. Honestly, he was fed up with Irkens poking and prodding at him.

</p>
<p>"Your PAK, sir," Lupones said, unfazed. "It appears to be rather attached to you! Permanently." Zib hissed as Lupones pulled on one of his veins. "I don't know what you've done here, but it's almost like your PAK has quite literally become a part of you!" His tone of voice changed. "Which may be a problem. It's common procedure to have your PAK replaced when you become Tallest, but... I don't think we <em>can</em> remove it. Not unless we perform some form of surgery and remove it that way, but it's too risky. Especially with <em>these</em> connecting your PAK to your head." 

</p>
<p>Lupones yanked on his vein again, and Zib pulled his head away with a snarl. 

</p>
<p>Lupones hopped off the table, walking around to face Zib again. "So that means I'm going to have two PAKs?" Zib asked bitterly. He wasn't bitter about the idea about having two PAKs. He was just... well, after having his veins yanked on, he found he didn't exactly like Lupones anymore. 

</p>
<p>"It would seem so, sir," the Advisor replied, still rather unfazed. "It's not unheard of for an average Irken to be a double PAKker, but for a Tallest? First, you're the first hybrid to challenge two Tallests at once. Then, you become the first hybrid Tallest! And now you're the first Tallest with two PAKs! You're a real first for the Empire there, sir!" 

</p>
<p><em>For the Empire.</em>

</p>
<p>The words bounced off the walls of Zib's skull. He hadn't been the one who had said them. His PAK had taken over and forced his mouth to say the words. Those three words, of which Zib had never thought nor spoke before in his entire life, and if he had, he had most likely brushed them aside and forgot about them. But now that he had actually spoke them himself... how could he say "for the Empire" when he'd been planning to dismantle it?

</p>
<p>Sure, he could remember Rex talking about all the stuff the Tallest had done to their people. Red and Purple had shot Irkens out of airlocks, sent malfunctioning SIR units to Meekrob and hadn't done anything about it, frequently ignored a distress call from Mars, shot the first Irken to conquer his planet in Operation Impending Doom II out of a cannon. And Zim. Based off Piki's reaction, Zib thought he'd ended up in the one reality where the Invader didn't exist. But based off the flash of recognition on Red's face just seconds before he'd been killed, this universe's Zim was <em>alive.</em> Or at least, he hadn't been completely forgotten.

</p>
<p>But it hadn't really stuck that deeply with him he'd change his mind about dismantling the Irken Empire he had sought out to destroy... had it?

</p>
<p>Could it really be possible that he had sided with Irken scum? Just because of some horrible things the previous Tallest had done to their own kind? Or, worse yet, could it be possible he had sided with Irkens... because he had grown attached to Rex and Piki?

</p>
<p>Ridiculous. Irkens were horrible, VILE creatures. They'd declared war on the Alaxian Empire (Alaxians were possible cousins to Irkens, since they looked awfully similar, except Alaxians had four large insect-like wings where their PAKs would be, yellow glow-in-the-dark stripes along their arms and face, orange skin, sharpened yellow teeth and... gorgeous dark eyes that could see right into <em>ZIB FOCUS, THAT'S NOT THE POINT</em>). After the Alaxians lost, the Irkens tore their Empire down, tried to commit mass genocide yet failed because a couple handfuls of them escaped, but was now chasing the last of the Alaxians to finally kill them off because... well, it seemed Irkens just didn't like Alaxians due to their similarities.

</p>
<p>But Rex and Piki were definitely different. Though they had their moments, they were kind. They'd done their best to take care of him while he was at his worst. Rex was a little dumb but he was trying, and Piki was sweet. Deep down, he knew that some part of him had grown fond of the two over the past... month? Holy fuck, had it only been that long?

</p>
<p>"My Tallest?" Lupones' voice pulled him out of his thoughts. "Are you alright? You looked like someone knocked on your head."

</p>
<p>He wasn't sure what to feel. He'd done it. He'd actually taken over the Empire. And this time, there was no Zim or a pesky alternate to get in his way. Yet... he really didn't want to go through with his plan anymore. It was far too late to turn back; it wasn't like he could turn around and decide he didn't want to be the Tallest anymore. This wasn't like any of his other plans.

</p>
<p>He didn't know what to do.

</p>
<p>Lupones hopped up on the table again, although this time he sat down beside Zib instead of standing behind him. "If it makes you feel any better, a lot of Irkens feel a little nervous when they take over as the Tallest. I mean, I would be too. Out of nowhere, they're in charge. They're the one giving the orders. It's... probably not what you're feeling, but... I'd probably feel nervous if I was in your place. But I'm not, so...."

</p>
<p>With a look suggesting he'd really never had to comfort anyone before, the blue-eyed Irken reached out and patted his thigh reassuringly. 

</p><p>
  
</p><p>After a pause, Lupones sighed. "Look, I'd probably let you take a break for as long as you need, but... we are going to have to get that second PAK installed. No offense to your eye color or anything, but I honestly wouldn't take a brown Tallest seriously. What do you think of being blue?"

</p>
<p>Zib made a small amused noise. Funny coming from an Irken dressed in blue, with blue eyes and just so happened to be in a room that was blue. Looks like he found the little guy who lived in the blue world.

</p>
<p>Lupones didn't seem to realize what was so funny. More so to be polite than anything, the blue-eyed Irken awkwardly smiled. "I know things are... probably going a little fast for you," he eventually said, hopping off the table again. "But... could you remove your sweater?"

</p>
<p>Zib's mind went blank. "What."

</p>
<p>"You... new smeets normally just have PAKs shoved onto their backs, and that's it," Lupones explained. "Nothing fancy. But you are not a smeet. And PAKs can't be installed if you're wearing something, since clothing actually mess with their sensors. There's been a few incidents where a PAK decided to install itself to an Irken's chest because it thought it was their back. That is a very thick sweater. I'm surprised you're not overheating!"

</p>
<p>Zib twisted the fabric of his sweater. "Not right now...." 

</p>
<p>"That would be preferable, yes," Lupones said. Once again, an Irken was oblivious as to what Zib had meant. "Of course, that would mean you'll have to take your jacket off as well. The... the boots, too. It's not that necessary, but it is required."

</p>
<p>"Alright," Zib grumbled, "fine."

</p>
<p>A long pause. The blue-eyed Irken didn't move.

</p>
<p>"...jeez, spare me my dignity, why don't you." Zib huffed a frustrated sigh as he stood up, shrugging his coat off. The Advisor held his hand out, patiently waiting to take it from him. 

</p>
<p>With a bitter grin, Zib threw the jacket at Lupones' head.

</p>
<p>The Irken Advisor yelped in surprise, clawed hands scrabbling at his head, which gave Zib enough time to pull the sweater over his own head without an unwanted audience watching. Lupones managed to take the coat off his head, dazedly blinking as though he had no idea how to describe what the hell had just happened to him.

</p>
<p>"Oh," Lupones said, his voice small. His antennae falling to his shoulders, the blue-eyed bug carefully strode up to Zib, gently trailing a claw along one of his sides where three old scars were. There were more matching these three; diagonally across his chest, on both shoulders, his arms, his stomach, his other side. "Who caused these? Are they...."

</p>
<p>"Self-inflicted."

</p>
<p>"Oh," the Irken Advisor said again. He held his hand to his chest with his fingers curled in, eyeing Zib with concern. "The... you are going to have to take your gloves off, too. Sorry."

</p>
<p>He handed his sweater off to the Irken to reluctantly take his gloves off. He'd only taken off one when Lupones walked to a corner of the room, opened up what appeared to be an ordinary chute at first glance, dumping both his sweater and his jacket inside. Fire shot out, announcing what the purpose of the chute was.

</p>
<p>"JESUS," Zib said, running over to the chute and staring down at the fire inside, his heart in his throat. "Couldn't you have at least <em>warned</em> me you were going to do that?!"

</p>
<p>"It's not like you were going to need them for much longer!" Lupones said apologetically. 

</p>
<p>Zib groaned, pressing his face against the cool blue wall. He had a heart-to-heart with an Irken, who then burned his clothes. 

</p>
<p>Having learned his lesson, he stuffed his gloves into the pockets of his pants, doing his best to keep his hands out of his sight. "I'm keeping these."

</p>
<p>Lupones had held his hand out to take his gloves, but shrugged once Zib announced he was keeping them. After a minute: "The boots...?"

</p>
<p>Zib did take them off, but protectively pushed them behind him, glaring at the Irken Advisor and daring him to try and take them. Lupones put his fingers in his mouth, whistling. "Tik! Boots!" he called.

</p>
<p>A small Irken darted into the room faster than Zib could blink. He looked like a minature version of Lupones, but with shorter antennae and sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He stared up at Zib, zipped behind him, took the boots, and shot out of the room before Zib could even open his mouth to protest.

</p>
<p>"What" was all he could think of to say. 

</p>
<p>"I'm not measuring your feet," Lupones said, crinkling his non-existent nose and shuddering.

</p>
<p>"Why would you even do that?" Zib asked, a hand on his hip. He was both disgusted from what he had just heard, and overall just tired from having to deal with Lupones.

</p>
<p>"You... won't fit in standardized Tallest armor," the Irken replied. "You are way too heavy for a hoverstrat. Er... no offense."

</p>
<p>Zib offered no comment. He honestly just wanted to get this done as fast as possible. The less time he spent with the Irken Advisor, the better.

</p>
<p>The next hour had Zib finding himself laying down on the table on his stomach, a group of small Irkens that looked like Lupones (which was terrifying, where did he get all those tiny clones from?) carting in a large blue PAK and checking if it was ready to go or not. The ends of the tubes poking out of it were capped, the PAK itself sitting on a gurney beside the table.

</p>
<p>Lupones himself was mostly quiet as he worked, pushing Zib's arms by his sides whenever he went to rest his chin on them. The Irken Advisor occasionally spoke up to ask one of his mini clones if the PAK was ready, or to reassure Zib that he knew what he was doing. 

</p>
<p>"Is it going to hurt?" Zib eventually piped up when one of the clones announced the PAK was almost ready.

</p>
<p>Lupones pursed his lips. "A lot," he admitted. "If you want, we can sedate you."

</p>
<p>Zib thought for a minute before nodding. The Irken Advisor gestured to one of his clones, who carefully removed a mask from his PAK and strode up to Zib, raising himself up on his biomechanical legs to be at eye level. The little Lupones gently placed the mask over Zib's head.

</p>
<p>Who finally realized that Piki and Rex were probably still waiting for him to get back to <em>The Void Cruiser.</em>

</p>
<p>"It's not going to..." Head suddenly felt heavy; hard to keep eye open. "...take too... long... uggh...."

</p>
<p>"It's ready, sir."

</p>
<p>He faded into unconsciousness.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Suddenly that "Major Character Death" warning makes a whole lotta sense.</p><p>You have no idea how excited I was to get this chapter out! I've been sitting on the idea for "Battle of the Tallest" since July! I've actually had the majority of this chapter written for a long while, and have been tweaking and expanding on it while writing Doctor One (and now includes an interesting addition: the Alaxian race, and Zib's strange fascination with them).</p><p>Just to let you know, this is my favorite chapter. I've never written in the view of a character to be killed off, so this was really exciting. I just really love working on this AU. (also lupones just hates feet in general, don't worry about it—)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Being Tall Isn't Everything</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Demonstrating the different sides to the Irken race, as well as Zib... in a few aspects.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <strong>!~ POTENTIAL WARNING — the roach man's trauma gets the best of him, and also glass at some point ~!</strong>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"...waking up..."

</p>
<p>"...it down, his hearing will be..."

</p>
<p>"...shhhh..."

</p>
<p>The world outside sounded like it was coming from the end of a tunnel. He felt himself being pulled away from the gentle lull of sleep. His eye flickered open, the world around him fuzzy and bleary. Very blue. His head felt stuffed, his cheek smushed against something cold and hard.

</p>
<p>"Ah, there he is," a voice said. "Did you rest well, sir?"

</p>
<p>In response to the question, he gave a jaw-cracking yawn and snuggled further into the blankets, closing his eye again. "Aww," the voice said.

</p>
<p>The sound of tiny clacking boots. "Has his other PAK accepted the new one?" a smaller voice asked.

</p>
<p>"Not yet," the first voice replied. "But now that he's awake, we should hear something soon."

</p>
<p>"How soon?" 

</p>
<p>"In three... two... one."

</p>
<p>A tingling sensation suddenly spread over through his back. It curiously searched his consciousness, moving through his body until it found something similar in his head. The other one was far more slower, but when they spoke, their voices sounded similar.

</p>
<p><em>'Hello?'</em>

</p>
<p><em>'Hel-hel-hello?'</em>

</p>
<p><em>'Hello. PAK ID 476-555-921.'</em>

</p>
<p><em>'Hel-hello. PAK ID 264-992-<strong>ERROR!</strong> In-in-inquiry?'</em>

</p>
<p><em>'Installation needs to be complete. Accept to co-exist?'</em>

</p>
<p><em>'Ac-ac-accepted.'</em>

</p>
<p>At that, the tingling spread out over his consciousness. It seemed to be more focused on his stomach, and so his stomach growled fairly loudly in response.

</p>
<p>Zib's eye immediately snapped open. What the hell.

</p>
<p>"AHA!" Lupones said, grinning. "There we go! The PAK has been accepted! Congrats, My Tallest! You are now the proud host of two PAKs!"

</p>
<p>Zib blinked up at the blue-eyed Irken, his head wobbling as he went to check his surroundings. He was still in the bluescale room, although the amount of Lupones' clones had diminished; there were only two instead of seven now. Zib was laying on his side, his back aching like a bitch from the weight of his new PAK. 

</p>
<p>He put his head back on the table. He didn't <em>feel</em> proud. He felt... woozy. Very tired and woozy. His head still felt stuffy. 

</p>
<p>"How long 'ave I been out for?" Zib asked, his voice slurred.

</p>
<p>"Definitely longer than I was expecting you to, sir," Lupones said. "I mean, you looked... uh, you are quite a lot larger than the average Irken. And aren't... aren't fully Irken, so... ha-have you been getting enough sleep?"

</p>
<p>"<em>How long?</em>" Zib choked. Please don't be too long, please don't be too long, <em>please oh God don't be too long—</em>

</p>
<p>"You've been out for most of the day, sir," the Irken Advisor told him. "I would have woken you sooner, but you looked like you needed the rest."

</p>
<p>"MOST OF THE—" Despite Lupones' protests to keep laying down, Zib threw the blanket off and tried to stand up. Pain spiked through his head, causing him to grit his teeth as he began to topple onto the ground, bracing for impa—

</p>
<p>Four black legs with sapphire blue joints shot out of his second PAK, positioning themselves to prevent his fall. Zib frowned at them. Not because he was mad that he hadn't toppled onto the ground, but because some part of him was disappointed. Had the tinted wings only been for Red and Purple? Was he stuck with legs, while they had gotten wings? 

</p>
<p>His head... <em>hurt.</em> And he clearly wasn't thinking properly. If he was thinking straight, he wouldn't be concerned if he had wings or not. Perhaps it was a side effect to whatever sleeping gas he'd inhaled.

</p>
<p>"Whoa-<em>ho!</em>" Lupones said. "Wouldja look at that! PAK's already got its legs figured out!"

</p>
<p>The Advisor tapped one of the biomechanical legs with a claw, his antennae leaning towards it and vibrating, a childish look of glee crossing his features. He almost reminded Zib of an excited puppy. Or a moth drawn to a flame.

</p>
<p>"Sir?" one of the Advisor's clones (probably the one who'd asked about Zib's PAK) piped up. "Sir, the Tallest...?"

</p>
<p>"Huh? Oh." Lupones' antennae relaxed as he forced Zib to sit back down, though they twitched as he watched the metallic legs retract. "It's best you don't do too much, sir," the Irken Advisor told him. "It'll take a long while before your PAK really gets used to you." He lit up again, his antennae perked up. "But it already has functionality over its legs, so it shouldn't take too long!"

</p>
<p>"Hmm," Zib said, his head still throbbing. He couldn't see what was so exciting about that.

</p>
<p>"Still, try not to strain yourself," the blue-eyed Irken went on. He seemed to realize something. "Oh! I almost forgot! Armor's been completed for you while you were out cold, so... Mul, if you could do the honors?"

</p>
<p>The little Irken nodded before zipping out of the room. "If it's too much, ask Pod and Nar for help!" Lupones called after him.

</p>
<p>"How many of those lil' guys're there?" Zib asked.

</p>
<p>"Hmm? Oh, my crew." The Advisor smiled fondly. "There's thirty of them working under me."

</p>
<p>The idea of thirty little Irken clones nearly gave Zib a heartattack. Okay, dealing with over two thousand Zims had been fine. They had merely been alternate versions of each other, with their own thing that made them different. Clones, on the other hand, was another story. He wondered how the Advisor could even tell them a part.

</p>
<p>Lupones didn't seem to notice his horror.

</p>
<p>Three little Irkens came back a few minutes later. Zib noticed that the armor was slightly different (modified to fit, he supposed); the blues seemed to be duller and darker than Lupones' vibrant blue. He supposed it had been designed to match his new PAK. 

</p>
<p>The little Irkens set the armor (and what Zib was assuming to be a long sleeved shirt to go underneath, as well as a black pair of pants) on the table beside him, and moved to stand around Lupones.

</p>
<p>"Uh, quick quest... fuck, I have to ask," Zib said, picking up the chestplate. They must have measured him while he'd been asleep. This chestplate looked so... accurate to fit (wow, that sounded SO smart). "How do you get a PAK off? Like... your own PAK."

</p>
<p>"Oh, it's simple," Lupones said. He reached back, and after a minute, carefully held his own PAK out in one hand. "Practically nothing. Barely an inconvience. All you have to do is think about it, and the PAK itself will handle the rest." He allowed his PAK to reattach itself to his back. "But do remember not to stray far away from your PAK, unless you want to risk death."

</p>
<p>"...that's it?"

</p>
<p>"That's it. I take it you're changing, then?"

</p>
<p>"Yeah."

</p>
<p>A long, silent minute passed before Zib burst out: "<em>GET OUT!</em>"

</p>
<p>The second PAK's legs extended once more, getting five of the Irkens to yelp and zoom out of the room. The last Irken (of whom had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and was oddly quiet... Tik, was it?) calmly turned on his heel and followed the others out of the room. The larger PAK raised Zib off the table and helped him walk over to the door. Hissing, he placed a hand on his forehead. Christ on a <em>fuCKING</em> stick... what the hell <em>happened?</em> 

</p>
<p>Zib moved his other hand to close the door... his body suddenly gave an involuntary shudder, as though something was watching him. And it turned out something <em>was</em> staring at him.

</p>
<p>A SIR unit. Not like that little annoying robot that tended to follow Zim around. One of the more standardized SIRs. That meant no insanity, and it was... <em>functional,</em> he guessed. Except it had bright stratosphere blue eyes, which stared up at him as though he was the only thing it could focus on. Perhaps <em>that</em> was why it was staring.

</p>
<p>"Uh... hello?" Zib tried. 

</p>
<p>The SIR blinked up at him, silent.

</p>
<p>"Do you, uh... belong to someone? An Invader, or... something?"

</p>
<p>The robot stayed quiet.

</p>
<p>"Can you even talk?" Zib asked, exasperated.

</p>
<p>The SIR continued to say nothing for a long uncomfortable moment. It then moved a hand to its chest, opening it up as though it was a door of sorts. Before Zib could really process what he was seeing, the SIR took a small rectangular object out of its chest, holding it up to him.

</p>
<p>"For you," the robot said simply. 

</p>
<p>Uncertain, he reached down and took the object from the SIR unit. The thing looked old, the metal golden from rust and age. Three letters in what appeared to be an ancient version of Irken was engraved in the surface. He could barely tell what it said, but it looked similar to a word he'd seen once. If they were the same, the word engraved on the object would be a number.

</p>
<p><em>O N E</em>

</p>
<p>"What the hell is this thing?" Zib asked the SIR.

</p>
<p>The robot once again stayed silent, then turned and walked down the hall. "Okay, bye I guess!" he called after it. Under his breath, he added: "Fucking weirdo robot."

</p>
<p>Shaking his head, he decided to make use of his new PAK and store the strange object inside of it, then finally closed the door.

</p>
<p>------------------

</p>
<p><em>KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK</em>

</p>
<p>"Hello? Sir?"

</p>
<p>The door opened a crack, a singular brown eye glaring down at him. "What is it <em>now?</em>"

</p>
<p>"Just checking in on you, My Tallest," Lupones told him. "Are you feeling better now? Do you want to come out?"

</p>
<p>"No." Tallest One closed the door. "Few more minutes."

</p>
<p>"That's what you said a few minutes ago," Lupones said. "And a few minutes before that, and way before that. And so on. Sir, you can't stay in there forever. You have duties to attend to as the Tallest. And as an Advisor, I have duties of my own I need attend to."

</p>
<p>"...then why don't you?" the Tallest asked, his odd mucus-y voice muffled due to the door.

</p>
<p>"I can't, sir," Lupones said. "You're in my lab."

</p>
<p>"...ugh." One reluctantly opened the door, glaring down at Lupones as he brushed his way inside.

</p>
<p>So far, Lupones had the feeling One didn't like him. He hoped it wasn't anything personal, since he didn't want to potentially provoke the wrath of a strange yet angry Tallest. As he watched, he saw the hybrid lug himself over to the table and lay himself down on top of it with a grunt, taking a mental note of his limp but choosing not to bring it up.

</p>
<p>"This... can't be what you were doing for the past three hours," Lupones said.

</p>
<p>Tallest One made no comment, his eye closed. All he did was huff an annoyed sigh, and that was it.

</p>
<p>Lupones worked in silence, occasionally glancing over at the new Tallest. Perhaps something was wrong? Was it the second PAK? It wasn't unheard of for an Irken to go about laying about all day due to the added weight on their back (even though an Invader would rather be caught dead). And those Tallest standard PAKs were unbelievably heavy... perhaps it was just because he wasn't used to the weight of a PAK? His first PAK <em>was</em> installed on the back of his head. Or was it his leg? That limp didn't look too good, after all. Did Red give that injury to him, or was it an older one? Perhaps he was merely trying to keep weight off that leg. That'd be the best idea, wouldn't it?

</p>
<p>Another matter Lupones was curious about made itself known. A matter he had been wondering and meaning to ask One about, but had no idea <em>how</em> to ask. He supposed he'd just have to improvise the best he could. If push came to shove, his best bet was improv. Probably.

</p>
<p>"Y'know," he eventually said, purposely avoiding eye contact with the hybrid. "I don't know if you knew this, but... we, uh, f-found a pair of Irkens on your ship. Don't know if they were stowaways, or... or de-defects... but... y'know. They were there and we found them."

</p>
<p>One at first said nothing. Lupones went to speak again when he heard: "Don't touch them."

</p>
<p>"Huh?" Lupones turned to see the hybrid Tallest was sitting up, his brown eye wide with desperation. 

</p>
<p>"Don't. TOUCH. <em>THEM!</em>" Lupones yelped and ducked as a thick black PAK leg with blue joints nearly impaled his head. The Tallest practically toppled onto the floor, but kept going. "DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH THEM! Don't... d-don't...."

</p>
<p>One broke down. "Don't touch them," he said, pressing his hands against the sides of his head, tears bunching at the corner of his eyes. "Please... leave them alone." He choked on a sob. The biomechanical leg limply laid on the floor. "I can't... lose...." His entire body shuddered as soon as the word was spoken, and he went quiet.

</p>
<p>"...you know them?" Lupones asked. The Tallest nodded, subdued. "And... you let them stay, right? On your ship?" One nodded again, hiccuping. Lupones' shoulders relaxed. "Sir. They're okay."

</p>
<p>Tallest One looked up at him in disbelief, a stray tear rolling down his cheek. "Really?" He almost sounded like a smeet, specifically one of the really young ones.

</p>
<p>"Yes, sir," Lupones said. "My crew adore Rex and Piki. I wouldn't dream of plucking a hair off their heads, even if the Control Brains ordered me to. Just for clarification, the Brains wouldn't." He crouched down beside the Tallest, helping his larger PAK retract its leg, since it really hadn't taken the time to do retract the leg itself. "Since the previous Tallest are out of power... I might have... decided to take the liberty of... allowing them back into the Empire?"

</p>
<p>At One's confused look, Lupones elaborated: "Well, Red and Purple's immediate reaction was to toss Rex and anyone directly involved with him into a sun for nearly destroying <em>The Massive.</em> No Trials or anything. Just.... whoop. Right into a sun. Which isn't really fair, but then again, it's not like Red and Purple were the <em>smartest</em> Tallests the Empire's ever had. I thought Rex and Piki were <em>dead</em> until Tik found them."

</p>
<p>"So you just let them back in, no questions asked?" The hybrid Tallest sat up.

</p>
<p>"Well," Lupones said, scratching the side of his neck. "Advisor Yuru asked several questions. I don't know what she asked them, but... y'know, they're Irkens in the Irken Empire again."

</p>
<p>One gave him a look, like he was finding that hard to believe. "How did Ta — <em>TIK!</em> How did Tik get in my ship?"

</p>
<p>"Err...." Lupones began scratching at the side of his neck again, avoiding the Tallest's gaze. "I'm... not quite sure."

</p>
<p>One growled. "The fucking doors were unlocked. <em>Again.</em>"

</p>
<p>"Uh... I believe they <em>were</em> unlocked, My Tallest," Lupones said, uncertain. All he really knew was that Tik had apparently took it upon himself to search Tallest One's ship, and he came across the two ex-Invaders. He'd have to ask Tik if he broke in, or if the doors actually were unlocked.

</p>
<p>It wouldn't be out of the question for Tik to break in. He was strange like that. He was also strangely quiet, and had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows, an almost confident nature to him. If it weren't for his status, Lupones was pretty sure the Smaller would have been killed by now.

</p>
<p>It would be a shame, though. While it wouldn't do any good for Lupones to play favorites with his crew (and especially with Smallers), Tik admittedly was one of his favorites. 

</p>
<p>The hybrid Tallest grunted, hauling himself up. "Where are they?"

</p>
<p>"Hmm?" For a second, he wasn't sure what One was talking about. "Oh! Oh, Rex and Piki. Yes! Umm... apparently, Advisor Yuru needed to speak with them again. She said she'd be bringing them to you once she's finished with them." Hopefully. He had a feeling Yuru had a secret plan of sorts, and he hoped that plan (whatever it was) didn't involve the death of the lifemates. Smallers or not, his crew was highly attached to them, so if they cared about the lifemates, then he cared about them too. Not to say he hadn't grown genuinely fond over those two.

</p>
<p>"...who is Advisor Yuru?" One asked, squinting down at Lupones. "What is <em>she</em> in charge of?"

</p>
<p>"Eggghh... well, due to an incident with a Florpus Hole, several of our Advisors aboard <em>The Massive</em> at the time went outright insane, so Advisor Yuru is in charge of quite a lot of things," Lupones said. "Completely by her own choice, though. I mean, she's in charge of so many things that I'm not sure what she isn't in charge of anymore."

</p>
<p>"What was she originally in charge of?" 

</p>
<p>"Uh... psychology, sir. I think? Definitely has to do with brains and emotions... and she certainly seems to love her job," Lupones told him. "I just know that she's been dying to speak with you. I think that's why she's escorting Rex and Piki here."

</p>
<p>"You guess correctly, Advisor Lupones."

</p>
<p><em>[SON OF A SNARKLE!]</em> Lupones nearly jumped out of his coat, whirling around to see a familiar face. The Irken before him wore a gold-yellow coat of her own, wide open to reveal the chestplate she often donned. She also happened to wear a belt with an Irken insigna on the buckle, and one of her antennae was noticably bent. "Goodness gracious — YURU!"

</p>
<p>"Greetings again, Lulu," the other Advisor said. "You didn't forget who I am that fast, did you?"

</p>
<p>Lupones had no time to reply; Yuru's attention was suddenly focused on One like a laser beam. "I'm assuming you would be our new Tallest? <em>Tallest</em> One? Formerly Doctor One, the galaxy's most hated creature?" (Most hated? What did One do to earn <em>that</em> title?)

</p>
<p>The hybrid Tallest shifted into what Lupones immediately recognized as a defensive stance. "And you are Yuru?"

</p>
<p>Yuru quickly looked him up and down, taking note of his stance. "You are correct, sir," she said. "I am Yuru."

</p>
<p>One immediately snorted. "Now say that again but more... dramatically."

</p>
<p>"Once is enough, My Tallest," Yuru said, almost absently. She strode up to the Tallest and gave him a hard jab to the stomach; One grunted in response, stepping back and protectively placing his hands over top of his belly, glaring at her as though daring her to try it again. "Hmm. You are... <em>fatter</em> in person." 

</p>
<p>A black PAK leg with blue joints (possibly the same one that had nearly impaled Lupones just minutes before) carefully slithered out of its PAK, poising itself over her head. Yuru noticed, tilting her head almost as though she was confused. "You're not expecting to scare me, are you?" she said. "It wouldn't look good on you if you went around scaring your Advisors, My Tallest."

</p>
<p>"And it wouldn't look good on you if you insulted Our Tallest, Advisor Yuru," Lupones reminded her. Yuru frowned at him as though <em>he</em> had insulted <em>her.</em>

</p>
<p>Though she took a couple steps back with a reluctant: "I suppose you're right, Lu."

</p>
<p>Tallest One's metallic leg retreated as his arms fell to his sides. He clearly didn't trust her. To be honest, there wasn't a lot about Yuru to trust. She was hardly ever seen, and surprisingly no one knew much about her except that she had a strange obsession with the brains and emotions of other people. She liked figuring things out about people because it was a new way of seeing what made them tick. She constantly wore an expression on her face that suggested she was dying to cut someone's head open and sift through their thoughts.

</p>
<p>Lupones personally remembered that Red and Purple had always said the gold-yellow Irken had given them the heebie jeebies. One just didn't seem to like her. Perhaps pointing out his weight was a bad idea?

</p>
<p>Yuru coughed, pulling Lupones out of his thoughts. The other Advisor turned her head to the door before looking back at him. She was expecting him to leave.

</p>
<p>Yeah. No. 

</p>
<p>"I am going to have to ask both of you to leave my lab," Lupones said. "Not for any personal reason. It's just that I haven't been able to properly attend to anything since Tallest One came to power... err, no offense, sir. Plus, my lab isn't actually a suitable place for... I don't know, an interview? Isn't that one of the things you do, Advisor Yuru?"

</p>
<p>Yuru's antennae raised, twitching. This was the perfect example of her wanting to cut someone's head open to look through their thoughts. Honestly, Lupones had never expected to be on the receiving end of this expression. Blessed Bloop was this expression as creepy as people said it to be.

</p>
<p>"Whatever," One grumbled. The hybrid Tallest heavily limped out of the room, angrily muttering under his breath. A few seconds after leaving Lupones' lab — "JEEZ... what the <em>hell</em> are you two wearing?" 

</p>
<p>The other Advisor stared out the door, a startled and confused look on her face. She... probably hadn't been expecting that. And to be honest, neither had Lupones. He had been expecting One to say "no" and just lay down on top of the table again. It seemed like something he would do. All he knew about the hybrid was that he was stubborn and... grumpy. But he'd have to leave it to Yuru to figure anything else about the new Tallest. She always did.

</p>
<p>Yuru broke out of her daze first. She gave Lupones a questioning look before following after the hybrid with a swish of her coat.

</p>
<p>Lupones adjusted his goggles, praying to Bloop Herself that the other Advisor wasn't about to do anything stupid.

</p>
<p>------------------

</p>
<p>"Were you created on a planet?"

</p>
<p>"No."

</p>
<p>"Were... you created in space?"

</p>
<p>"No."

</p>
<p>"<em>Blessed Bloop...</em> which sector were you originally from before you became the Tallest?"

</p>
<p>"No."

</p>
<p>Yuru pulled her hands over her face in frustration, tugging her lower eyelids down low enough that her ocular implants nearly popped out of her eye sockets. "Why must you be so... <em>difficult?</em>"

</p>
<p>Unable to help himself, Zib answered the question with a smug: "No."

</p>
<p>Yuru took a deep breath before exhaling, gently lifting the digipad off the table in front of her. "<em>Sir.</em> Please," she said, her voice strained as though trying to keep herself from reaching across the table and strangling him on the spot. "It is required we have a basic description of you in the official Irken records."

</p>
<p>"...no."

</p>
<p>An eyelid twitched as she crushed the digipad in her hands. Yuru heavily sighed, setting the now-broken device on the table. "I'm sorry to inform you, My Tallest," she said, folding her hands together, "but we can't just put <em>'Tallest One, formerly the galaxy's most hated creature.'</em> Along with that, you're very... strange, to say the least. Not even your... emotional support Smallers know anything about you, other than <em>'has a very bad temper'</em> and <em>'eats a lot when sad.'</em> You're very strange and mysterious, and that won't paint you in a very good light. I'm assuming that's something you wouldn't want... am I correct?"

</p>
<p>Zib didn't respond. There wasn't a lot he could say... or rather, <em>wanted</em> to say. His past was... something he often tried to put behind him. There were some things he'd rather forget about. But sometimes the past just kept creeping in from behind him to stab him in the back and remind him that he didn't belong in this universe.

</p>
<p>"<em>No,</em>" Zib said again, his voice more desperate this time. Small, wavering. His fingers curled in, his hand shaking.

</p>
<p>"That's what I thought," Yuru said, nodding to herself. "I'd like to change that, if you'll let me. All I'm asking is for you to simply tell me where you're—"

</p>
<p>Zib slammed his hand against the table, dimly aware of the sound of something breaking, leaning over to glare in the Advisor's face. "<em>Stop,</em>" he growled. "Asking me. Where I'm from. <em>Now.</em>"

</p>
<p>Yuru nervously gulped, her antennae pressed against the back of her skull. "Y-yes... yes, sir."

</p>
<p>Zib felt himself deflate, the sudden burst of rage flooding out of his systems as quickly as it had come. He was suddenly terribly aware of the sharp pain in his hand; lifting his hand up, noticing that he'd slammed it into the broken digipad. Reddish-pink droplets dripped through the glove, making this one of the rare few times he was actually seeing his own blood. It wasn't quite the dark magenta of Irken blood, yet it wasn't the dark crimson of human blood either.

</p>
<p>Zib was aware the most logical response to discovering he had teeny tiny bits of glass sticking out of his hand was to scream and panic. Instead he frowned at the red-pink droplets, once again hating the fact that even his blood reflected the fact he was too human to be Irken, but too Irken to be human.

</p>
<p>Zib tensed as the word <em>merger</em> found itself in his thoughts.

</p>
<p>"I don't think you should be doing that," Yuru said, watching Zib carefully begin trying to work tiny shards of glass out of his hand.

</p>
<p>"That makes two of us."

</p>
<p>"Then why are you...? Sir, you might damage your nerves doing that." 

</p>
<p>"Eh... that's just a side effect."

</p>
<p>Yuru's eyes practically bugged out of her head. "A side effect?! THAT ISN'T — OH, for the LOVE of IRK!" 

</p>
<p>With an annoyed growl, the gold-yellow Irken shoved the broken digipad off the table. The already broken device landed with another <em>CRACK!</em> Zib shuddered at the sound, pushing a memory with a similar noise in it down. The Irken Advisor took his hand, placing it on the table with his palm facing up. "Allow me, My Tallest," she said.

</p>
<p>A small robotic arm snaked out of her PAK, two small claws gently taking a small piece of glass and removing it from his hand. Hissing in pain, Zib asked her: "Are you sure <em>this</em> won't damage my nerves?"

</p>
<p>"Stop being such a smeet," she said smoothly, "and just keep still."

</p>
<p>As the tiny claws of the robotic arm removed shards of glass, Yuru kept her eyes on him and listened carefully to his responses. While she did seem annoyed with him, she looked more intrigued than anything. To be honest, she looked like she was about ready to push his head down onto the table and cut it open so she could remove his brain and examine it in full detail. From what he knew about her so far, it didn't seem like it was out of the question for her to do that. 

</p>
<p>(He made note to watch his back for a gold-yellow Irken in the future. He liked his brain <em>inside</em> of his head, thank you very much.)

</p>
<p>The Irken had to pin his wrist down as soon as the final shard was removed. "Yes, that's it," she announced, examining his hand. "I think that's the last one. If you can manage to keep your revolting hand still long enough for me to make sure nothing gets infected, and to check it for any lasting damage, everything <em>should</em> be fine. Unless you're stupid enough to let something fall on it and crush all of the bones in it and make sure literally nothing can repair it ever again."

</p>
<p>"You're... <em>helping</em> me," Zib said. His heart leaped in his chest as soon as the realization came to him, his eye wide with awe. This almost felt like a dream. An Irken he barely even knew was... just being nice. In her own strange and unusual way. "Why?"

</p>
<p>Surely there was a catch somewhere.... 

</p>
<p>"Well, I couldn't just let myself sit idly by whilst a fat moron of a Tallest completely ruins his hand," Yuru said. "Just because he thought it was a... 'side effect.'"

</p>
<p><em>Aaaaand</em> there it was. 

</p>
<p>Zib's eye narrowed at Yuru as a pang of hate shot through him. <em>Bitch,</em> he thought bitterly.

</p>
<p>"Speaking of which, we now just have to...." The gold-yellow Irken gently reached out to take his glove off.

</p>
<p>His anger vanished as pure and absolute panic flooded through his entire being, his eye as wide as it could be. All rational and coherent thoughts came to a sudden halt. Both of his PAKs picked up on his distress; Yuru froze as eight PAK legs erupted from behind him and pointed straight for her head, glowing with the threat of laser fire. 

</p>
<p>Zib's body was trembling. All he could say was: "Don't."

</p>
<p>The Irken Advisor shook herself. "One. <em>Sir.</em> I have to."

</p>
<p>"No, don't—"

</p>
<p><em>I</em>

</p>
<p><em>can't</em>

</p>
<p><em>see</em>

</p>
<p><em>my hands.</em>

</p>
<p>Yuru's face darkened. "Oh sure, I should just let you lose a hand? Sir, I might not be a medical-drone, but I have to make sure it doesn't get infected nevertheless. You would like to keep your hand, correct?"

</p>
<p><em>I don't</em>

</p>
<p><em>want to</em>

</p>
<p><em>look</em>

</p>
<p><em>at them.</em>

</p>
<p>But there was no other choice, was there?

</p>
<p>Both of his PAKs reluctantly retracted their legs. Yuru's shoulders relaxed, taking his deflated silence as a yes. Of course, once the glove was off... Zib gave an involuntary whine, slamming his eye closed and shuddering.

</p>
<p>"Goodness gracious," Yuru sighed tiredly. "You killed both of the previous Tallests in <em>cold blood.</em> Sir, compared to that, this is barely a scratch. Open your eye."

</p>
<p>Zib opened his eye a crack. As soon as he saw the greenish-gray of his bare hand, he squeezed it closed and whimpered, involuntarily trembling all over. "Just get it with."

</p>
<p>Time seemed to stretch on for eternity. He occasionally heard Yuru telling him to relax, as his shaking made it hard to tell if his injured hand was or wasn't trembling. Okay sure, he said "heard," but in truth Zib <em>couldn't</em> actually hear her. Behind his eyelids, memories were being pushed to the forefront of his mind; of the Zimvoid, of punching a mirror, of every single insult and threat he'd ever made....

</p>
<p><em>E V E R Y T H I N G .</em>

</p>
<p>Among the wave of jumbled memories slamming into each other and tearing at his mind, as clear as a bell ringing in a library, was his alternate's voice. As though he was in the room with him, leaning over to speak directly into whatever was left of his ear.

</p>
<p><em>"I think that PAK did something to your mind,</em> Zib. <em>Something is wrong with you."</em>

</p>
<p>Zib grinded his teeth together, trying to push the memories down. No, no, no, no no no no nononononono. There wasn't... was there? No... no, of course there was. Why else would he be like this? As a kid, he'd had no regard for the lives he might have been about to take. He hadn't learned anything from destroying his universe; the rifts opening up in the sky took care of that, as they had cut off any and all regret for his decisions. He didn't <em>care...</em> he didn't <em>think.</em> All he thought about was pushing forward, never thinking anything through or about the consequences of his actions. His thoughts of glory and plans of what he'd believed to be heroism had always kept him going — it was what he dreamed of achieving, not what he would achieve in reality.

</p>
<p>It was always about him and no one else. 

</p>
<p>It had always been like that. It had always been him working alone to stop the menace no one else would. But once he fused with his Zim's PAK, all he ever thought or cared about... was <em>himself.</em> Nothing else seemed to matter except his delusional fantasies and dreams of being the hero. In truth, it'd always been about the attention he'd been denied. Yet it felt different after fusing with the PAK. He'd always seeked love and respect, but now it wasn't just because he wanted to be something more than the "insane" son of Professor Membrane.

</p>
<p>It was because he wanted to make himself feel better. To get rid of the all-consuming darkness eating at his heart.

</p>
<p>Nothing he did had ever been enough. <em>Nothing was ever enough.</em> Over the years, the pain had gotten <em>worse.</em> It had clouded his judgement of right and wrong, making him desperate to do anything to relieve the pain... but that just wasn't it, was it?

</p>
<p>No. It wasn't.

</p>
<p>He'd wanted to keep this universe and its Earth (and the Alaxian race) safe, but... it had only been to prove he wasn't as useless as he thought he was, hadn't it? And what would have happened if he had followed through with his original plan? He honestly didn't know which Irken Armada it was; it could be the same one he'd taken over with a Dib-virus, or it could be a different one. It didn't matter which one it was, did it? All that mattered was that it would have been destroyed, and he would have moved onto freeing this universe from the influence of its Irken Empire. 

</p>
<p>What would have happened if he hadn't come to his senses in the Arena? Would he have still dismantled the Empire? Freed the universe, not caring about all the little Irkens like Rex and Piki who hadn't done anything wrong? Who were just on the wrong side of things? Who just had terrible leaders... just like him? 

</p>
<p>Dib was <em>right.</em> Something <em>was</em> wrong with him.

</p>
<p>His thoughts began swirling, incoherent and jumbled. Screaming as well as whispering at him. Something was wrong, something was wrong, something was wrong something was wrong somethingwaswrongsomethingwaswrongwrongwrongwrong—

</p>
<p>"Hey."

</p>
<p>Something reached out to take both of his hands. "Hey, can you hear me?" the voice said again. "Take a deep breath. Okay? If you can hear me, take a deep breath."

</p>
<p>His chest felt too constricted; he could barely pull in any air. Yet the voice kept going, telling him to take a deep breath, almost acting as an anchor. He chose to listen to the voice opposed to his thoughts, trying to drown them out with the sound of something else. Though he didn't notice when, the jumbled mess of thoughts began to die down, becoming more or less coherent again. The tightened feeling in his chest loosened; steadily, pulling air into his lungs become easier.

</p>
<p>Zib eventually found himself hunched over the desk, exhausted. At this point, he'd realized it had been Yuru's voice he'd been listening to. She hadn't begun to speak again, instead quietly analyzing him from her spot across the table. Though as expressive as they were, occasionally it was hard to tell what an Irken was thinking; their default expression was so blank, and it didn't help their eyes were just two spheres of color in their heads, even if they were false. You couldn't tell if their eyes were darting around; sometimes their antennae would stay completely still, making it even harder to tell what they were feeling.

</p>
<p>Yuru barely moved. Zib could barely look at the Irken Advisor as she seemed to search for every single flaw he had. The longer the silence lasted, the harder it felt to look at her. Irkens weren't supposed to do this to their Tallest, right? Hell, their entire Empire's hierarchy worked on heights. The taller you were, the higher up the hierarchy you were. And Zib was actually the Tallest, so that meant he was on top... which also meant he had the control of an entire Empire at his fingertips, an Armada at his disposal. Technology and medicine that worked almost like magic, so advanced that he could barely fathom how it worked. 

</p>
<p>He was the Tallest. He was in charge. 

</p>
<p>He was Number One.

</p>
<p>But he couldn't be like <em>that</em> again.

</p>
<p>Not to Rex and Piki.

</p>
<p>"You're just a tragic soul, aren't you?"

</p>
<p>Pulled out of his thoughts, Zib blinked up at Yuru. When he didn't speak, she went on. "You've been through a lot, haven't you? You weren't always like this. Something happened to you and it broke you. Whatever it was, you blame yourself for it. You can't look at your hands because all you see is the blood on them." She took his injured hand, carefully removing a roll of gauze from her PAK. He was more or less focused on her face, taking note of the odd pale gold speckles splattered around her eyes. "You don't think you deserve kindness. It's almost like a dream whenever someone shows even just a smidge of kindess towards you... am I correct?"

</p>
<p>Zib avoided her eyes, almost sheepish. "I... I would assume so."

</p>
<p>As she finished wrapping his hand up: "You've been trying to find your place in the universe. Despite how unbelievable it is when someone shows they care for you, you want to be cared about and loved... even when you feel like a monster. It's almost like a craving at this point. One that's never been satisfied, and one that might never be satisfied... perhaps maybe until the right person — or people — comes along, perhaps even returns. You thought that had happened once, but they had lost your trust... or at least, that's what I assume happened." She carefully reached out, and in his shock he found himself as still as a statue while she ran a thumb around the spot where his right eye was supposed to be. "You lost your eye. I don't know how, but I'm assuming this also happened to be a rather tragic incident... am I correct?"

</p>
<p>His body shuddered at the memory. "Y-yes."

</p>
<p>"Incidents like these happen to you more often that not," Yuru said. "Your past is almost practically littered with them. And it always cuts you to the bone morrow whenever they occur, or whenever you think about them. Is that what prompted you to lash out at others?" Finished with the gauze, she watched him like a hawk as he carefully tried slipping his glove over his bandaged hand. "Was that the reason you earned a reputation as the galaxy's most hated creature? You were trying to protect yourself, but only ended up hurting yourself further with the hate you received... am I correct?"

</p>
<p>Zib let out a weak chuckle. "You know, for having only met for twenty minutes, you seem to know a lot about me."

</p>
<p>Yuru shrugged. "You can piece a lot of things together about someone if you just pay attention them," she said. "You are a strange yet fascinating creature. You are the Empire's first hybrid Tallest, and your background is shrouded in mystery. You are smarter than some would be lead to believe, since your solutions to things tend to be more doing than thinking. Or at least, when it comes to potentially harming yourself further. And... you do have a softer side. Despite clearly not enjoying the idea at first, you allowed two tiny ex-Invaders to stay aboard your ship. Both of whom Red and Purple had decided to chuck into a sun for the near destruction of the Irken flagship, <em>The Massive.</em>"

</p>
<p>"To be honest, I didn't know that at first," he told her. "I only found out about that recently."

</p>
<p>"...interesting," Yuru said. "So you didn't know that ex-Invader Rex had almost destroyed <em>The Massive</em> until... how recently?"

</p>
<p>"I mean, I get why he didn't tell me first time we met," Zib said. "You don't exactly start off by telling someone your crimes... especially the one you were supposed to be killed for."

</p>
<p>"That's... not what I asked, sir," Yuru said, furrowing her brows.

</p>
<p>"Oh, I know. I just don't feel like answering that question in particular." 

</p>
<p>The Irken Advisor sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I suppose that would conclude our interview then," she said. "Thank you for wasting your time speaking with me, My Tallest. I feel like we at least have some info about you to put in the official records. I suppose I should look forward to working with you in the future. And... I suppose I must apologize for giving you a hard time. You do appear to be a rather stubborn creature at first, but now that I realize you're not what I was expecting you to be... I'm sorry."

</p>
<p>"Um... okay??" <em>Do I accept her apology, or....</em>

</p>
<p>"I'm sure you have some more important things to do now that this is over," Yuru went on. "Whatever you do, please try not to repeat anything Red and Purple have done. Good luck, blah blah blah, all those farewells and things. May the stars shine within you or... something."

</p>
<p>A sigh from his end. "Right, then." Thinking on it, he awkwardly drummed his fingers against the table before piping up to ask: "Y-you're... you're not going to put your analogy of me in the official records... are you?" 

</p>
<p>"Unless that's what you want your reputation to be," Yuru told him. "Do you want to stay mysterious and have people suspiciously squint at you from across the room, or do you want to be known as a depressed plump cockroach who desperately needs a therapist?"

</p>
<p>Zib opened his mouth to answer before he processed her words, one thing standing out above the rest to him. "Cockroach?"

</p>
<p>Once again, Yuru sighed. "I'm not going to put that in the Irken Databases," she said. "It'll just stay our little secret."

</p>
<p>"I get that, but — cockroach?" That was definitely a new insult, if it indeed was one. "What about me is even remotely... <em>cockroach?</em> Are there even cockroaches in—"

</p>
<p>"Sir. Please. You have more important things to be concerned about than something I called you."

</p>
<p>Zib shook his head. "Fair enough," he said.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>GATHER ROUND, CHILDREN. IT'S TIDBIT TIME WITH MOTHER ZEISTY. AGAIN.</p><p>Yuru originally was going to be a very angry character. As well as that, I was going to make it look like Yuru and Lupones don't exactly like each other. But then I decided Lupones is just awkward and doesn't understand emotions that aren't his own, as well as deciding that Yuru has an obsession with what makes others tick and she's normally very creepy, though she does have emotions in there... it's just that the only time someone might see her softer, more caring side is when she finds they're more tragic and vulnerable than they let on. For example, our boy Zibbers.</p><p>Lupones was always going to be a likeable character. Yuru on the other hand wasn't supposed to be. There were more mentions of her frowning, overall being very irritated, and frequently calling Lupones "Advisor Lupones" more than once ("Lulu" and "Lu" are actually <em>my</em> nicknames for Lupones). Of course, most of her interview with Zib barely changed; it seems that over the years, Zib just knows how to get on someone's nerves. Will we see her again? Perhaps.</p><p>(And yes, this chapter IS named after yet another fanfiction. I'm sorry but I can't help referencing other IZ stories I like. but uhhh, anyway... go check out "being tall isn't everything" by p.a.w.07 on fanfiction.net if you haven't... it's actually a pretty interesting read. yes i am advertising because in my opinion this 👏 is 👏 good 👏 shit.)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Change of Heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Near the end of the road, sometimes a change of heart can come suddenly.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <strong>!~ POTENTIAL WARNING — panic attack, emotional/mental breakdown, emotional abuse... yeah, zib's mental health isn't good (especially considering that he calls himself a "fucking dog" in this chapter) ~!<strong></strong></strong>
</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><em>"An instant is all it takes for your whole world to change."</em>

</p><p><em>Ain't that the truth. Everything has changed... greatly. It shouldn't have been surprising, honestly. Choosing to become the Tallest is a pretty big thing. I guess it never really hit me how much would change until I was here. For one, I'm always around... people. Up until three weeks ago, I was almost always alone. It's all too much, honestly. I'm not sure if it's just because they're Irkens, or it's just because after all this time, I'm not used to so many people.</em>

</p><p><em>Okay... so things change. Seasons, places, people... even locations. Slow, gradual changes I can handle. I can accept summer becoming fall. I can accept that the leaves will, y'know... fall. I'm not sure I can accept this. I'm not sure if I'm still in the Void Cruiser, curled up under the covers and just... dreaming this all up. If I am, I must be in a coma, because this is a very long dream... a dream that I'm definitely not going to wake up from.</em>

</p><p><em>Because guess what? No matter what you do, how much you wish to wake up from this fucking nightmare we call life... you're already awake. You're staring in the face of the beast. One that, if you don't keep your guard up around or keep your eye on, is going to chew you up and spit you out. Or maybe just eat you and you'll just be lucky to live through being partially digested. Though sometimes... even though life is trying to put you through hell and back, some good things do happen to come out of it.</em>

</p><p><em>For me? No. Not often, anyway. I've mostly known life to be a real pain the ass, so it's excruciatingly rare that anything good will actually come out of it. And when it does, it's gone before I can blink. It's a fleeting feeling, this happiness. Never for long, always sucked down into the depths of darkness where I'll never ever find it again. The gnawing, biting pain. It'd be nice if I could just... make it go away, but it's always there. Making everything harder.</em>

</p><p><em>There's really no time for it, this pain. I have no choice. Irkens or not, these people really do need a leader. They need someone stronger, tougher, smarter, better... not someone like me. I'm supposed to make everything better, but how can I? I'm not a good person. The things I did when I was younger... everything I've ever done. Dib was right, there's something wrong with me... but I'm not sure it was the PAK that made me this way.</em>

</p><p><em>So Dib was... wrong about one thing. I can't really blame him for thinking that. I suppose he was just pointing fingers at what he believed was the main cause behind everything... what made him and me so different. The only thing he knew was truly different. The PAK, he thought. The PAK has to be the cause of this. But it wasn't the PAK that made me fuse it to the back of my head. It had no control over that. It did next to nothing to make me come to that conclusion.</em>

</p><p><em>It was my choice. The first change.</em>

</p><p><em>After that, the changes to my appearance were gradual. Something I could work with. Something I was... admittedly terrified of, but something I could push past and get over as well. Whatever it was that made me choose to do that... I think that, over time, as everything changed, it only amplified. It had taken control in that moment, and now that it had power, it wasn't ever gonna let go again. It was easy to blame the PAK for my carelessness. My lack of regard for anyone that wasn't me. It was this little voice that came with the decision of fusing with the PAK, not the PAK itself.</em>

</p><p><em>The PAK barely offered up any real ideas. It didn't come up with the idea of building a giant super weapon to wipe out the entire Irken Armada. It didn't decide to enslave alternate versions of Zim once it was evident timelines and alternate realities existed, oh no. Well... actually, I'm a little fuzzy on the details. I can't exactly remember if it actually was the PAK, or if it was just me, as always. It'd be so easy to pin the blame on the PAK, but it's just as I said: easy. Blame the PAK, deny you ever could have done such a thing.</em>

</p><p><em>Only an idiot would blame his tools. (At least, that's how I think the saying goes.)</em>

</p><p><em>The PAK came with a change. The zapper came with a change. Dib came with a change. Rex and Piki's arrvial came with changes. One thing always happens to change everything within the matter of an instant, and those changes are often very -- sometimes unfortunately -- obvious. Sometimes you can come back from them. But other times you just try to plow through it, which just makes everything worse. So, so much worse.</em> 

</p><p><em>For example... let's say you buy a ship and you lock yourself up in it. And then let's say some people break in and steal your eye right out of your head. You think everything's all bad and terrible and why did it have to be you? You didn't do anything to them. You've never even seem them before. How can anything good come from this? You're proven wrong when one of those people -- let's say they're someone who matches your height and has probably the most gorgeous eyes you'll ever see -- takes pity on you and they stay to at least try to make everything better for you.</em>

</p><p><em>This person is the best thing that's probably come out of your crummy life... and you're the best thing in their life as well. But then it turns out they can't stay with you because they have to keep moving or else they'll be caught but no amount of begging and pleading and persuasion will ever get him to stay and you're crying and shaking and on your knees because you know that once he's gone you'll be all alone again and I hate being alone because he can't go he's supposed stay and keep making everything better WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME <strong>PLEASE COME BACK I NEED YOU--</strong></em>

</p><p>Zib dropped the pen, his head in his hands, his entire body trembling uncontrollably, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.

</p><p>Stay calm. Just breathe. Just breathe. Everything will be okay.

</p><p>"O-one..." he said under his breath, "two... three... f-four... in." At that, he slowly took a deep breath in. "Four... three... two... one... out." And then slowly let it out. "One... two... three... four... in." Breathing in. "Four... three... two... one... out." Breathing out. "One... two... three... four... in." Breathing in. "One... two... three... four... out." Breathing out.

</p><p>Getting better. 

</p><p>"One... two... three... four... in. Four... three... two... one... out. One... two... three... four... in."

</p><p>That's it. 

</p><p>"One... two... three... four... out. Four... three... two... one... in. One... two... three... four... out."

</p><p>Everything's fine. Everything's safe.

</p><p>"One... two... three... four... in. Four... three... two... one... out. One... two... three... four... in."

</p><p>Just for good measure. Once he was sure he was okay (and he hopefully wasn't going to break down like that again), Zib picked the pen back up, continuing to write.

</p><p><em>After all that, they still leave with the promise to come back one day, when they know for sure they won't be caught. But you don't know when that day will come, so you're left waiting. And waiting and waiting and waiting and so on until years upon years upon years upon years pass and they never do come back. You can't move on because you're still</em>

</p><p>(in love) 

</p><p><em>waiting for this good thing to come back for you. You're in denial that this good thing won't come back. Because it has to come back. It HAS to. Not to say that something else good won't be coming around the corner, though you're sure after that magical moment years ago, nothing could ever be that good and fantastic and amazing again.</em>

</p><p><em>Which was the case when Rex and Piki broke onto my ship. To be fair, I wasn't expecting a pair of tiny gremlins to break into the Void Cruiser and one of them to take a broom and then hit me with it (honestly, not impressive. Anyone could have done that. I mean, seriously. With where Rex was aiming, I would have been disappointed if he missed). That wasn't the best first meeting I've ever had, but it definitely wasn't the worst.</em>

</p><p><em>Yet if it weren't for these two, I'm not sure I'd even be... here, where I am right now. In some aspects, that might be more or less better for the Irken Empire if I didn't take over. But that leaves the question if I genuinely would have taken down the Empire if they hadn't broken in.</em> 

</p><p><em>What would have happened to the Empire if I did? To this universe? I definitely wouldn't have found out that this universe has a real mystery surrounding its Zim, that's for sure. No one else I've spoken to since becoming the Tallest recognizes Zim's name. Not Piki, not Rex, not Lupones or Yuru... the only person I'm sure recognized the name was Red. I am very certain that, seconds before the final blow, this universe's Red recognized the name. It makes me wonder if Purple also would have recognized Zim's name as well, but I don't doubt he would.</em>

</p><p><em>They were probably the only ones who knew what happened to Zim.</em>

</p><p><em>I realize that I shouldn't really linger on their deaths. Red and Purple are dead, and they have most likely taken the secret of what happened to this universe's Zim with them to their graves. That's unfortunate, I must admit. But I've realized that whatever happened to him might be the best case scenario for me, honestly. I don't need to know or think about what might have happened to him.</em>

</p><p><em>I also realize I've been going on for some time, without really providing context. Technically, that shouldn't matter, since I'll be the only one reading this. But there is a chance that, somewhere along the road, I might do the stupid thing and forget what this is for, and then maybe eat the book or some shit (no fucking clue as why I would do that. Maybe I go feral or something and decide books look tasty for some reason).</em>

</p><p><em>It was, more or less, Yuru's idea. An idea that, naturally, Rex and Piki latched onto. Yuru thought I should have a book for writing and venting my "unruly tangle" of emotions into. It's basically a fucking diary, but for therapy. A therapy diary. Stupidest thing I ever heard of. Am I going to tell them that? Already have. Didn't agree with me, of course. They all think it's a great idea. Yeah, let's write a fucking book that someone can read and discover all of your little secrets and maybe when you die, it'll become your legacy. Brilliant idea, what can possibly go wrong?</em>

</p><p><em>If that's true, I'd hate to be the guy who's uncovered this and reading this. "Oh my God, do you ever stay on one topic? When are you going to get onto more important things? What's the Irken Empire like back in your time? Who the fuck is Dib? Or anyone else you're talking about? WHAT are you even talking about??? For fuck's sake, are you even going to talk about why you're so fat?" (I'm just fat. Deal with it, asshole.)</em>

</p><p><em>Okay... another thing I realize I've been doing is mostly talk about pretty bad things. I suppose in some ways that's good. Venting my pain and shit. Letting it all out. Having something to dump things into, no matter how much I hate it. That's not gonna be fun to come back and read, though. For anyone. Jeez, Zib. Why you gotta be such a downer? Holy fuck, lighten up every once and a while.</em>

</p><p>Zib flinched, realizing he wrote his name instead of "One." If someone actually was going to come back and read that in the distant future, revealing that he wasn't actually called One was... going to be a shock to some (or a lot of) people. Perhaps a lot of shit was going to be surprising either way; timelines, alternate universes, <em>his plans of wiping the Armada, destroying the Empire.</em> The fact he wasn't born this way.

</p><p>If he left his actual name in... yeah, anyone who would eventually read this would discover that he wasn't the person he said he was. 

</p><p>The most he could do was refrain from writing his actual name to soften the blow.

</p><p>He quickly scratched his name out and awkwardly squeezed "One" in nearby. It wasn't perfect, but it'd have to do.

</p><p><em>So, y'know... some good things. Other than the complications of being a supposed hybrid, the Empire has accepted me being the Tallest better than I was expecting them to. I mean, Irkens are typically egotistical and narcissistic and overall believe they're the superior, perfect race. Sure, Rex and Piki more or less don't seem to really mind, but that's because they're not like usual Irkens. They're nice, they're polite and considerate, they're never intentionally rude... overall just not like usual Irkens. Apparently. Word must have gotten out that I'm traumatized and depressed and overall not okay, so I guess they're all deciding not to give me a hard time.</em>

</p><p><em>That, or they're afraid I'm going to intentionally fall on one of them if they don't act nice. God, do these Irkens have an irrational fear of things that can potentially fall and crush them? (Why is that the thing that keeps reoccuring? First, Piki jokes that I'd win against Red and Purple by falling on them and breaking their spines, and now this. Good God, what has my life come to?)</em>

</p><p><em>Still, either way, I'm not used to this kind of attention. No one was really... nice, where I'm from. Not like this. No one other than Rex and Piki have shown me this genuine attention and affection (no one I can name without potentially putting in danger, I mean. I probably can, but I don't want to. Better safe than sorry). I don't necessarily think it's genuine as much as it is programming for all the other Irkens, but for Rex and Piki... they were kind long before I became the Tallest, and they haven't really changed throughout this whole thing. That's definitely nice, but I'm sure something's definitely going to change. It's not going to last longer than it has. I have a feeling I'm going to fuck something up at some point, and then they'll... leave, or they'll stop seeing me the way they have. And I'll be alone all over again.</em>

</p><p><em>Or maybe not.</em>

</p><p><em>I've only known them for a short period of time, and yet they still had my back. That's the thing. It's like I haven't become the Tallest at all. I'm still just One to them, no fancy title or nothing. And while they're back in the Empire, it's just... nothing's changed between us. They're still the goofy little Irken couple that broke onto my ship only a month or so ago. Time really flies, don't it? Really. It's like time's passed them by, but they never got the memo. So they essentially blink and something around them has changed. "Oh, so you're the Tallest now? Ah. Okay. We're still going to smother you with hugs, we literally don't care who or what you are. You're just friend, through and through."</em>

</p><p><em>Tallest One. The friend.</em>

</p><p>Zib paused to read over what he'd written. 

</p><p>"The friend." 

</p><p>Did they use that word for him? Would they even call him that? A friend? Friend. Were they even friends? Sure, he'd written the word friend, but he had no idea if that was true. They'd broken into his ship, struck him with a broom, ejected valuable tech and parts out of the airlock, and... that was technically it for the bad stuff. They'd taken care of him when they could have just left him alone to wallow in pain. They technically didn't have to do anything for him. They could have just left and never have to see him again. 

</p><p>But what would that have meant for him? If they had left.

</p><p>Two Irkens breaking onto his ship, ejecting valuable tech and parts out of <em>The Void Cruiser</em>'s airlock, and to top it all off, leaving him behind as an over-emotional, self-loathing mess. No one to care for him. Left without a purpose. The pain probably would have eaten him alive. Swallow him whole. Engulf him. Other terms similar.

</p><p>How long until the pain would have become too much to bare?

</p><p>How long until he would have decided the only way to relieve the pain was to find those two Irken shits and put them through the same pain they had put him through, perhaps even killing them? Perhaps even....

</p><p>But this was the route he was taking. Rex and Piki had stayed. They'd really stayed when they could have left. Even Rex had spoken to him as though they were having conversations, although Zib had never bothered to talk back, feeling as though it was just better for Rex if he had someone to listen to. Perhaps it had been theraputic for the pale-furred Irken. Liberating to finally vent things out he'd probably never tell his own partner (maybe only because he didn't want to worry Piki), even. 

</p><p>But were they friends? He didn't know. 

</p><p>That was the problem here.  

</p><p>It'd never really been confirmed. He sure as hell hoped they weren't being nice because they felt they were obligated to. And he sure as hell hoped they weren't staying because they thought he was a pathetic, sick creature they had to nurse back to health. Next thing he knew they'll be cramming anti-depressants down his throat and putting him on a diet, claiming it's all to help him. 

</p><p>Then they'll leave him behind because they thought he was healthy enough to be own his own, but he'd be left to fall a part all over again. It'd be up to the next poor shmuck to try and pick the pieces back up before inevitably doing the same thing, so he'd just be stuck in an endless loop of falling a part and being put back together... or until he couldn't be put back together, anyway.

</p><p>So when will it be hard to put him back together? When will no one be able to piece him back together? He won't be able to take this anymore at some point. When would that day come, if it would at all? When would he just—

</p><p>"Doc?"

</p><p>Zib flinched so hard that he nearly knocked himself over. Once the intial shock wore off, he shot a glare down a very familiar pale-furred Irken with warm purple eyes.

</p><p>"I didn't scare you, did I?" Rex said. "Oh Bloop, I did, didn't I? S-sorry about that, I, uh... didn't mean to... scare you." An awkward chuckle.

</p><p>Though Zib had mentioned that Rex and Piki hadn't changed in the book, the only thing that'd really changed was their uniforms. Gone was the magenta tunics. In their places were sapphire tunics with long tails in the back, a light blue oval shape on the chest. Yet there was still the Invader boots and gloves, so... all it really was that'd changed was the tunics.

</p><p>Zib reached back to close the therapy diary, taking care to place it in his back PAK (oh haha, because <em>backpack,</em> good one, brain, very nice, didn't cause any internal pain at all). Standing up, he asked the small Irken: "What is it, Rex?" 

</p><p>"Psh... uh, welp," the Irken said. He held up a stark white mug. "I brought coffee."

</p><p>"...coffee?" Irkens had that?

</p><p>"That's right."

</p><p>"...is it just coffee?"

</p><p>"Ahh...." Rex looked into the mug, scratching his head. "I mean, it's Irken coffee. I don't really know how other races make their coffees, or if you're even a coffee drinker, and if you are, how you take it, so...." He looked up at Zib, his expression pained. "I didn't really think any of this through."

</p><p>Zib took the mug from him anyway. It was just a simple ol' mug, no Irken symbols or lettering or anything. Surprising, considering Irkens loved plastering their faces over everything. Well... the handle was interestingly jagged, almost an "M" shape, but he didn't think that really tied it to the Irken race.

</p><p>To be more cautious than anything, Zib sniffed at the beverage. "...do you know if anyone's reacted to Irken coffee strangely? Specifically non-Irken drinkers?" 

</p><p>Rex made an "uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" sound, as though his brain was overheating.

</p><p>"You know what, nevermind. Don't answer that." Zib took an experimental sip. A nice sweet, weirdly foamy taste. "But if I start acting weird, it's your fault. All of it. Your fault. Got that?"

</p><p>"Fully understood. Couldn't understand it better if I tried," Rex said. He rocked back and forth on his heels. "Y'know... that mug apparently came from a PAK engineer."

</p><p>"Hmm." Zib could frankly care less. But couldn't hurt to have a frie — conversation. Just a conversation. Nothing friendly. Conversation. Awkward small talk. Yes. "Does this engineer have a name?"

</p><p>"Yeah!" Rex said. "Think his name was... Egon? Yeah. That's his name. Engineer Egon."

</p><p>"Hmm!" This time he'd actually been drinking, so that was the only response he had to offer.

</p><p>"Yeah." A pause. "I heard that Egon wasn't just a PAK engineer, but I don't know, and can't say for certain. Never met the guy. Proper genius. Was always making crazy inventions and stuff. Some say he was designed and hatched to be a scientist. Might've even had the chance to actually be re-encoded as one. But one day, Egon mysteriously disappeared... and no one's seen him since. Even everything inside of his labs vanished!" Rex pointed at the mug. "That coffee mug was the only thing he left behind."

</p><p>"Hmmmmm...." <em>Honored to be using a possible dead engineer's coffee mug... I guess.</em>

</p><p>The two lapsed into awkward silence. He'd noticed that was happening more and more often lately, when he was communicating with Rex, Piki, or both. He'd refused the idea that the uncomfortable pauses in conversation was a difference in his relationship with them. Been refusing it since these lapses had started to increase. But it was admittedly getting a lot harder to deny that something was up. Trying to argue with

</p><p>(the monster)

</p><p>that all-consuming darkness — he'd found he'd been describing it as a caged animal lately; vicious, trapped, and too big for the cage it was holed up in — that nothing was changing between him and the Irkens

</p><p>(that he wasn't about to lose them)

</p><p>had caused more panic attacks and breakdowns than he was willing to admit. He'd only had one misfortune of breaking down in front of Rex once; they'd ended up bonding, Rex helping Zib with some deep breathing exercises to help him calm down, the little purple-eyed Irken occasionally offering up helpful words of encouragement and reassurance. 

</p><p>One to four, in, back to one, out.

</p><p><em>Stay calm. Just breathe.</em>

</p><p>Or at least, Zib had considered it bonding at the time. Rex might not've even had that word cross his mind. The ordeal might've been, in Rex's mind, comparable to a wildlife rehabilitation center, one where the animals are released back into the wild once they were healthy enough to be on their own. Except (continuing with the animal theme here) Zib was more or less the kind of animal that probably would be fine to be set free, but the problem was that he just didn't want to be alone. 

</p><p>So if he was set free, all on his own with no one to help take care of him because he was just that horrendous when it came to self-care, he'd probably resort to throwing himself out in front of a car with the hopes of being sent back to the place where the nice people took care of him and made him stop feeling like such a terrible, terrible person. But they'd send him back out, and he'd get hurt enough to be sent back, and the cycle would continue until he just didn't want to leave, but since he wasn't supposed to stay there, he'd ultimately be put do—

</p><p>A tiny hand slipped into his free one, startling him out of his thoughts. Zib peered down at Rex, who gave his hand a squeeze once they made eye contact. The sweet coffee on his tongue suddenly tasted bitter, the beverage settling in his stomach like poison. Why, why, <em>why</em> was he like this? He wasn't even a friend. He was just a <em>fucking dog.</em> An over emotional, pathetic, and disgusting dog with a missing eye, a massive belly that hung low enough that it touched the ground, and had delusions of friendship swirling in its head. A dog no one needed around, yet was kept around anyway because everyone felt bad for it.

</p><p>A burden.

</p><p>Not a friend. <em>A burden.</em>

</p><p>But he still had to hear it from the horse's mouth. Even if he just knew what the answer would be, he still had to ask. A confirmation.

</p><p>"Are we friends?"

</p><p>Rex's face wrinkled up immediately, causing Zib's thoughts to scream at him: <em>YOU FUCKING DOG, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN FRIENDS TO BEGIN WITH. FILTHY, STINKING, NO GOOD FOR NOTHING MUTT. YOU'LL DIE ALONE. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE. LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE FUCKING DONE. YOU FUCKED IT UP. JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE IN YOUR WORTHLESS LIFE.</em>

</p><p>His heart ached, suddenly hard to swallow. The air felt thinner.

</p><p>"Is that a trick question?" the small Irken asked. "I always thought we were."

</p><p>That wasn't the answer he'd been expecting.

</p><p>It wasn't <em>No, of course we're not.</em> It wasn't <em>Ew, no! What's wrong with you?</em> Both answers he'd thought Rex would give, or at least answers similar to them. The answer he hadn't even considered, but one Rex had definitely given him, was <em>I always thought we were.</em>

</p><p>"What...." He had to force himself to speak and hope he wasn't about to sound even weaker than he already was. "What does that mean?"

</p><p>Rex very clearly rolled his eyes before wrapping his arms around one of Zib's legs. "It means <em>of course</em> we're friends, you big goofy bloke," he said affectionately.

</p><p>Out of practically nowhere, Zib felt a burst of love, his heart feeling as though it was swelling. Rex suddenly seemed so small, so fragile. Irkens were sturdy, but it was as though Rex had brittle bones, and everything could hurt him. He was made of only the most fragile, easily breakable glass and so tiny. So little. So, so small.

</p><p>Oh, then there was poor ol' Piki. Even tinier than Rex by a hair, and even more frail to the eye of Zib's mind. The poor thing was more vulnerable than Rex was, but was so bright and cheerful. A little ray of sunshine with a spot of darkness eating at him, sometimes coming ever closer to killing him. Even Zib had tried to harm him, but no more. He'd promised himself he'd be better, promised these dumb, amazing little Irkens he'd be better, too. 

</p><p>And so he would.

</p><p>Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Not being the Tallest, not the coffee, not the therapy diary, not the mystery of this universe's Zim, not what Dib would say if he could see Zib now. Not even his PAKs seemed to matter anymore. More than anything in the entire multiverse, Zib wanted nothing more than to keep these two goofy bugs safe. 

</p><p>He had to protect them. <strong><em>HE HAD TO.</em></strong>

</p><p>"Doc?"

</p><p>Zib once again was startled out of his thoughts, though he didn't flinch or show any signs of fear this time around. Rex had stopped hugging his leg, now backed up so he could stare up at Zib with a concerned look on his face, a droplet of sweat rolling down one of his cheeks. "Y'good there, mate? You kinda spaced out again."

</p><p>Zib had to put the coffee down on the table behind him, where he'd been writing in his therapy diary for only God knows how long. He dropped down to his knees, but even then he was still taller than Rex. The Irken in question looked panicked, his antennae vibrating nervously. 

</p><p>"Doc?!" he exclaimed, rushing forward. Rex placed one hand on Zib's shoulder, the other on his forehead. "Oh bloody hell, did I break him again? I did, didn't I? My Bloop, why didn't I think any of this through?" Out of shock, the small Irken squeaked, wrapped up in a hug. "Uhh... One? What're you doing?"

</p><p>"I fucking love you idiots," Zib announced. 

</p><p>"...that's just the coffee talking," Rex said. "You'd never actually say that."

</p><p>"Nope." Though he can see why Rex would say that, based off Zib's question if Irken coffee had strange side effects on non-Irken drinkers. "Definitely not. I fucking love you. I fucking love your lifemate. I fucking love the both of you. Fucking small, goofy Irkens. Never, ever change."

</p><p>"Aww," Rex said, returning the hug. "That's so sweet. Aggressive. But sweet." 

</p><p>There was a third pair of arms, trying to wrap around the both of them. Zib had no idea when Piki showed up, but he wrapped his arms around the dark-furred Irken as well, lifting them off their feet. Both gave a squeal — one out of pure panic, the other out of surprised joy — but started laughing as Zib started twirling the both of them.

</p><p>Croaky little giggles worked up his throat. The sound of them laughing caused some part of him to want to join in, and thus the giggles exploded into laughter, loud, pure, and from the gut. He'd forgotten how long it'd been since the last time he'd laughed like that. Hell, he couldn't remember when he'd last had a good laugh in general; the last twenty years seemed to be full of pure, unadultured darkness.

</p><p>To be laughing again was definitely a good thing. So he supposed when Yuru and the other Irkens said he was getting better — they were right. Sure, a good laugh wouldn't fix everything, but... it was a good sign. He genuinely loved these idiots, though he knew that love wouldn't spread beyond to the other Irkens (especially to the Advisor named Crimm). But that was alright.

</p><p>A month wasn't a long time, but... he'd come a long, long way since then. There was still more to go. Especially with a new idea bubbling in the back of his mind, running along the theme of protection and saving. He was the Tallest, with power and tech beyond his own imagination. With that power, and the Armada behind him, he'd be able to keep any planet he wanted safe... and there was definitely one he had in mind.

</p><p>He'd be able to do it, alright. And he would. For better or for worse.

</p><p>------------------

</p><p>He collapsed to the ground, trying to catch his breath.

</p><p>He was in disbelief at this point. Sure, he'd expected to get out, but some point of him was seeing this all as a dream. He was here now. After long, hard work, he was actually here. 

</p><p>Free. Out of his timeline.

</p><p>Zib slowly picked himself up, swaying on his feet, broken chuckles rising from his throat, clutching a black device in his hand. The screen was dark, having shorted out when he'd tried to put his computer's intelligence into the tiny machine, but he'd be able to get it back... hopefully. No, he'd definitely get it back. He was Zib, after all. Technological boy genius. If anyone could retrieve artificial intelligence, it would be him.

</p><p><em>Still doesn't change the fact I have no idea where I am.</em>

</p><p>That was one thing; he'd had no way of knowing what was on the other side of the portal. Could have been a universe full of Irken sharks. Or he could have come out of the portal and fallen into a pit of lava. But he was here. Unscathed. Confused, alone, and uncertain of his location, but that didn't matter. He was here, and this unknown universe would have to accept that.

</p><p>Right now, he had no idea where he was. He was definitely in an alley, but which planet he was on, he wasn't sure. He'd find out soon. He'd find everything out in due time. There was a whole galaxy to explore, and one tiny boy to explore it.

</p><p>
  <em>Look out, universe. Here comes Zib Membrane.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Ohhhhhh man. Oh man. It's almost fucking over. One more chapter to go, and that's it. Doctor One's done. Holy fuck. Holy shit. I don't believe this. I also can't believe I finished the last chapter months ago. Seriously. I wrote the next chapter before I even got through with chapter five.</p><p>edit: genuinely forgot that rex calls zib "doc" so i had to change that. oops!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. They're Coming</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sometimes you just have to wake up and smell the ashes.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Dad...."

</p><p>The voice was too far away to be heard. It didn't sound urgent, at least to his unconscious mind. He rolled over onto his side, allowing the gentle pull of sleep to pull him in.

</p><p>"Dad."

</p><p>It was louder now. Unconsciousness was steadily drifting away from him. He was dimly aware the word carried some significance, but all he really felt was a stab of annoyance towards it, as the voice seemed to pulling him <em>away</em> from sleep. He grumbled, tugging the blankets up to his chin, and—

</p><p>"<em>DAD!</em>"

</p><p>—immediately snapped awake, his eyes flying open. The world was blurry and fuzzy around him, and for once in his life, Dibromide Membrane — better known as "Dib" — found himself regretting the decision to break the habit of wearing his glasses to bed. He propped himself up on an elbow, fumbling for his glasses on the nightstand.

</p><p>"Something's COMING!" a small voice squeaked, and Dib looked up to an anxious pale blur dressed in pink. The situation was so familiar that he heard his own voice echoing <em>They're COMING!</em> through his head. "Something's actually coming! I think! But I was downstairs, and then this transmission started coming through! I think it is anyway, there's no sound... it's just a symbol really, but...."

</p><p>Dib felt cold as he sat up, pushing his glasses onto his face, the blur focusing into a small girl drowning in a bright pink sweater. "What's coming?" He severely hoped this wasn't a repeat of—

</p><p>"SOMETHING!" the girl cried, yanking at her dark purple hair. "Could be anything! Whatever it is, it's—! It's on the <em>TV!</em>"

</p><p>Panic bursting through his chest, he leaped to his feet and raced out of the room, his daughter anxiously trailing at his heels. She was right about one thing; something was on the television's screen. The screen was black, save for the symbol in the dead center, which was pale pink and magenta. Dib felt his heart leap into his throat; the insigna was terribly familiar, of a triangular head on a round background, with large eyes and antennae, its smile wide and almost smug.

</p><p><em>Irkens.</em>

</p><p>As he watched, the Irken insigna on screen flickered. A blink-and-you'll-miss-it flash of blue. Dib inched closer towards the television. After all, <em>curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.</em>

</p><p>The insigna flickered again. It continued to flicker and warp, pink and blue wrestling for the place on screen. Eventually, the screen turned totally black... before another familiar insigna smiled back at him. Dib jumped back from the television, his heart thundering in his ears. He stared into the insigna's horrible eyes for a long, long minute before it disappeared again, as though it had never been there.

</p><p>This time, words in white appeared in the place of the symbols, small and blocky. They appeared to be harmless, but to Dib's paranoid eye, they were full of lies and deceit.

</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Do not be afraid. We mean no harm. We are coming to save and protect you. Await for us, and all will be right.</em>
    
  </strong>
</p><p>Zib was <em>alive.</em> He had gotten out of his timeline...

</p><p>and now he was coming straight for Earth.

</p><p>
  <em>Fuck.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Alright. Now it's over. Still in disbelief of this whole thing. Doctor One's the longest story I've ever written, and I definitely thought I'd write more chapters, but after Change of Heart... ehh. It was time to post They're Coming.</p><p>Now, some gushy heartfelt thanks because I can.</p><p>To Melody and Shandzii, who straight up encouraged me to write this at the start of this AU, when I said I was gonna write it, and by God did I write it. Mels even got excerpts, and gah... I got a comment on my writing style for the first time, and it made my heart swell. Thanks again, you two.</p><p>To Lilly, who has drawn some art for the AU, though I'm not sure if she's posted any of it, but the art's always incredible and I always love it. I sure as hell can never forget the Barbie boots thing, though. It's staring me in the face as I type right now.</p><p>To everyone down in the Moo-Ping 10 server for being incredible and supporting the AU to some degree or another. Zib might not like the "fluffy hair" or "chubby boy" comments, but they're great to me, so I don't mind. </p><p>And to the readers as well! You've taken time to read Doc One, and for that I'm grateful. Now, I might not have gotten... a lot of comments, but they were definitely more than just appreciated.</p><p>I'll see you in Tallest One, where there's definitely more to discover and more to uncover! Stay tuned, everyone! Ciao for now!</p><p> </p><p>  <em>~ Zeisty</em></p><p> </p><p>also dib i'm pretty sure "lies" and "deceit" are the same thing but i dunno.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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